When I Was A Barfly

When I was a barfly

A waitress told me

While I sat at her bar

Chain-smoking Winston's

And nursing a Budweiser

That cheap men have little dicks.

And how do you know that? I asked.

Let's just say it's been my experience, she laughed.

I always thought if you aren't a big shot you should act like an aristocrat.

You must be hung like a horse, she said while she scooped up my debris.

Wouldn't you like to know?

In your dreams, Joe.

My name's Eric, I said.