Talking

You love it
I don’t love anything
You love me
Except you

That’s a start
Maybe
Do you have a cigarette
Yeah

Thanks
Don’t mention it

See You Around

under a paper thin moon
you walked away
like a little girl

the night before
in a little white box house
you sat next to a fire and said

that’s funny
and i guess that it was
a long time ago i loved you

you smiled and shrugged
put your cigarette out
and asked for a refill

i loved you too
i said and filled your empty glass
you laughed and said thanks

you always did have
a unique sense of humor
a wooden leg and the best ass in the world

i will miss you
so will the dog
he’s even sadder than i am

Everybody Needs Something

My buddy needs twenty bucks so he can go out drinking tonight. My father needs me to help him put a roof on his house. My mother needs me to fix a flat tire. My sister needs a bag of dope. My brother needs a ride to the west side of town. My wife needs affection, a haircut, and a new car. My daughter needs a pink dress, new shoes and another Barbie doll.

A Made Up Story About An Old Girlfriend

The last time I saw Jenifer she was standing next to a bonfire in the desert talking to an old enemy of mine

I killed my beer threw it at a cactus while she and my enemy walked away from the fire into a trailer

Twenty - five years later

I was sitting in a bar

Wondering whether I should switch from beer to whiskey

I haven’t seen you in years she said how have you been

Great I said

Me too

I’m lying I said

She bought me a beer

I was thinking about switching to whiskey I said

Don’t let me stop you

You still look great I said

You aren’t half - bad yourself

I’m immature and that keeps me looking young

I should try that

It wouldn’t work - you can’t fake it – Besides you should keep doing what you’re doing – It’s working great

Thanks – do you want to get out of here

Go where

I don’t care

The last time I saw you – You were with that idiot John

I still am

That sucks

It’s not that bad

I took her to my apartment

This place is a pit she said

I haven't cleaned in a while would you like a beer I asked

She declined and didn't stay long

I drank the beer I offered her and two more while I fell asleep on the couch watching a baseball game

Sundown At Lake Five

Red sky cold water

Sitting on a raft waiting

For you to dive in

She Might Not Love Me Anymore

Cold hard wind blowing

West to east at dawn I wait

For you to come home

Moon Hanging Low

Moon hanging low

Over city
Foothill
Freeway
Colder

Than yesterday

4 – 30

Driving home from work

Saturday morning.

Priorities

This poem
Is for all
The things
I didn’t do
But should have

While I closed bars
Played golf
Woke up late
Practiced
My left - handed hook shot
While rain fell
On a dirt court
I could have studied
The law
Or learned how to
Un - hook a bra

Bad Luck

I put wheels on my easy chair
And a lawnmower motor
And a cup holder
And a car stereo
And drove to the bar.
I had seven beers and three shots of Jagermeister
And a parked car snuck up on me
While I lit a cigar,
I barely scraped it but a cop saw this transpire
And gave me a DUI ticket
And I spent a night in jail
And the State sold my moving easy chair to the highest bidder.

When I Was A Barfly

When I was a barfly

A waitress told me

While I sat at her bar

Chain-smoking Winston's

And nursing a Budweiser

That cheap men have little dicks.

And how do you know that? I asked.

Let's just say it's been my experience, she laughed.

I always thought if you aren't a big shot you should act like an aristocrat.

You must be hung like a horse, she said while she scooped up my debris.

Wouldn't you like to know?

In your dreams, Joe.

My name's Eric, I said.

Driving To Florida

I pulled the Fuzz buster out of the lighter so I could light a cigarette, two minutes later we got pulled. Vince wanted me to pay half of his speeding ticket. I told him it wasn't my fault. Rick woke up and said, what happened? I got a ticket, Vince said. Where are we? Rick asked. We didn't know. You guys are idiots, Rick said, and that may be so but it didn't matter then and it sure doesn't now.

Jackknife Said

the first time i ever killed a man
was the third night i spent in jail-jackknife said
and stuck his gun in my face
i smiled
this isn’t poker son
if it was i’d fold-i said
jackknife laughed-damn right you would
on the other hand-i said
what-jackknife asked
what else am i supposed to do but smile
i have the losing hand no matter what
you got that right kid-jackknife said
and blew a hole in the wall
fuckin’ eh-i thought
now can we get down to business-i asked

Cold Night Wind

sometimes it’s a tracer
a shadow

something you said
a song

or a passage from the bible
makes me sad

i drink to forget

you are strong
i count on
that

i get down on my knees

pray

that if you ever leave
you will take me along

or put a bullet in my head
'cause without you

it’s too damn cold

Intense Heat

On a Tuesday afternoon in Phoenix the sky was dull.

A row of trees on Central Ave. looked tired.

A dog crossed the street.

People were laying on blankets in a parking lot.

Juarez III

Tom my brother and I were sitting in a booth beside a pool table at Dizzy's. Tom and I were in love with the bartender. I thought she liked me better. Tom disagreed. I don't know who was right but we were getting pretty drunk and decided to collaborate on a song about the mythical city of Juarez instead of getting into a fight. We all made solid contributions. The tune is in the key of A and the lyrics are about a solider on a three day pass. The song is a tad sophomoric but it's easy to play and sounds good at parties if everyone's a little fucked up and willing to concentrate on the words that were expertly crafted by three underrated songwriters.

Charm School

I was shitfaced at the Dilly Dally talking to a girl about another girl. She said, quit being a pussy and buy us a shot. A shot of what? I asked. You pick, she said. I don't do shots, I said. You are a pussy, she said. How about Jack Daniel's, I asked. That's not very creative. I thought fags are creative, she said. I'm not a fag, I replied. Well than stop acting like one.

George W. Bush On Leadership

i’m glad you asked that question
good question
i think about that a lot
first off to be a leader
i’m a man of faith
jesus was a leader
a pretty good one too
if you ask me
fixing it
what’s wrong
that’s leadership
by example
a leader does what he’s supposed to
he tells others what to do
how to contribute
not by polls
it’s a gut feeling
i’m from texas
to be a leader you have to lead
be able to
do what you say
say what you do
that’s important
at least i think so
saying what you do
doing what you say
patton was a leader
lincoln ronald reagan
those are honest to goodness ones
right there's
a good example as there is
you lead by doing good
for your country or family
in the community
leadership is important
it always has been

Non - Fiction

A U.S. fighter plane
Pumped twenty - five rounds

Into an elementary school in New Jersey.

It was an accident,
Of course.

No one was hurt.

Thank
God.

Ode To A Tree

I was sitting in the parking lot of the Ritz trying to write a poem about a tree, some flags, a couple of SUVs, and a few people milling about. Sometimes a couple buses pull in and a baseball team files out. I have been trying to write this poem for years and have gotten pretty close but haven’t been able to close. It’s like driving down a long, well-traveled muddy road. I haven’t given up and that’s something I guess but as I know the truth burns and if this is the best I can do I should quit before someone gets hurt.

I. Busboy

Cigarette

Laughing

Standing

Sidewalk

Seven

Forty

Eight

II. Jet light

Cross

Frozen sky

All night

Nothing moves

III. Red SUV

Under street lamp

Tree

Moon hangs

Mall parking lot

IV. Yellow stumps

Concrete

Block

Loading zone

No one

To

Wait

For

V. A bus pulls in

The Atlanta Braves file out and amble into the lobby

I am reading a stupid book about statutory rape in Mississippi

A pretty girl walks up and asks for a ride downtown

You have cash? I ask

She does

How’s the book? She asks

It’s OK, I say

I take her where she’s going and go back and start over

Tim Hudson and Willie Something Or The Other get in and Hudson asks if I know any good massage parlors

They’re all closed, I say and take them to Bourbon Street, the best strip club in Phoenix

Go back start over

I take Andruw Jones to the Pussy Cat Lounge

He tells me the Braves should have won five World Series

Two would have been good,

I think,

They never should have traded David Justice

VI. Three flags swaying

Under the Ritz

I put down a book

And watch

Two women cross the street

This Is The End

When the shit hit the fan we drowned with our boots on like Army Rangers in the desert.

A bird zig - zagged across the horizon like a tangled web we wove.

In our lost world happiness is more than a state of mind and everything rolls down the hill

Like a runaway train trapped in reverse.

A vague memory tasted like sunshine on your cheek after making love beside your parents' pool.

We were forbidden to see each other.

Those were the days. What happened to the good old days? Are they long gone forever?

We transformed ourselves into a stack of wet firewood

And waited for the inevitable

To seep under the door

Like dope smoke in the barracks hall.

Two Peas In Pod

My girlfriend's kind of cute
We are getting married
As soon as we can look at ourselves in the mirror

I met her in the grocery store
She was stealing meat

I said
I’m a cop
Put it back

I bought the meat for her

We are meant for each other

I wish you could see her smile

I gave her a ride
She asked for my number
She called a couple days later
Asked for a ride to Tucson
I obliged

She conned a guy out of five hundred dollars
Gave me two for my time
We’re a pretty good team
She said

From then on I’d wait in the car
With a cell phone
If she gets in trouble
I barge in
Scare the shit out of the guy

Most of the time they just give her
What she wants

She gives them next to nothing

I quit my job

You don’t need that badge to be tough
She said
We can make so much
You’ll see
Trust me

I do
To a degree
We are
Getting married
As soon as we can look at ourselves in the mirror

Oh, Well

My wife is throwing a party in my face.

I’m at the grocery store
Picking up a head of lettuce.

I was in my study listening to records,
Watching golf with the sound off.
My dog Jenny was
Sleeping next to my guitar.

We were very content, my dog and I,
When she came in and said,
You forgot the lettuce.

So what. No one really likes salad.

So, you have to go get some.

Jenny woke up, knocked my guitar down, and
Went to find a better place to sleep.

I’m right in the middle of something. Look what you made her do.

I don’t care. I hate that guitar.

No, you don’t care I thought. Standing in line sucks.
It reminds me of the Army.

So does she.

Rhinestone Cowboy

You have to understand

When I was knockin’ Tanya around
We were high all the time
Drunk too
I’ve always had a drinking problem
So has she
One night she screwed a roadie
At a punk rock show in L.A.
I sat in the bus
Drinking scotch and doing blow
What else was I supposed to do

It Could Have Been Worse

Steve and I were sitting in a bar I can’t remember the name of anymore. The bar had happy hour from ten till two. You could get pretty fucked up for twenty bucks in that bar in 1985 and we were. After closing the place we stood under the freeway and smoked a joint. While we were finishing, Steve said, I don’t feel so good. What’s wrong, I asked? I don’t know, Steve said and fell face down in the dirt. Are you OK, I asked. No, Steve said. Do you want some water, I asked. No, Steve said. What a pussy, I thought, laid in the grass and fell asleep. When the sun came up Steve woke me up and gave me a ride to the barracks on the back of his bike. Looking back, maybe it’s a good thing he fell down and we didn’t try and make it home that night.

Dead House

Yesterday
It rained
And then it stopped
I was waiting for you
In a bar
You know
All of this
I got drunk
You never showed up
I drove home
Burned the house
Down
You came by
Said
What’s wrong

Cleveland

Before we were married my wife and I went to her cousin’s wedding in Cleveland. I don’t like to fly. It’s not that I’m scared, it’s that I know the plane is going to crash. So, unless you have a death wish you wouldn’t get on the plane, right? So off we went into the wild blue beyond to our near and certain demise and if that ain’t love I don’t know what is. We stayed in a motel 6 somewhere just outside the city and watched the Axe Bowl on TV the afternoon of the wedding (it may have been the greatest Axe Bowl of all time if you saw the game you know what I mean and if you didn’t I would have to be Hemmingway to do the game justice so you have to take my word and note that I wouldn’t lie about something that important) while we waited for our rental car to be delivered. The car never arrived (thanks to the football God) so we took a taxi to the airport, rented a SUV, missed the wedding and went to a wine tasting on the way to the reception. We found a table and shared it with an old couple and ate crap food and the bar closed almost as soon as we got there so we left early and scouted a sports bar to watch the Titans on Sunday afternoon, had a drink and went back to our room and killed a bottle of semi-expensive wine watching HBO. We probably fucked or as my wife likes to say made love but maybe we just got drunk and fell asleep. After the game we drove down to Lake Erie and took two rolls of pictures of the exterior of the rock and roll hall of fame, (it was closed) had dinner down town, and I had calamari for the first time and it wasn’t great but I could have eaten plate after plate. The next day on the way to the airport we went back to the rock and roll hall of fame and checked it out for a few hours and I bought a couple T-shirts. On the plane ride home I couldn’t watch Batman because I was too far away from the screen so I read Rolling Stone. I think the trip was a test I aced and now we are happily married with a daughter named Cate.

Gay Bar

I picked her up in a gay bar.
She was with a guy.
While we walked through an alley to my cab,
She said,
Isn't he the hottest cab driver you've ever seen?
He's pretty hot,
The guy said.
Do you want to have a threesome?
She asked.
I laughed.
Are you gay?
No.
Bi?
No.
Pity.
Yeah it is.

2020 II

I never thought I would get this old, (neither did my father and he's pushing 85) yet here I am (if you count the years that haven't happened yet) almost 60, sitting here wondering where the time went with my wife's cat in my lap reading the paper (I hate the cat) but he doesn't care about anyone aside from himself so he won't leave me alone. I used to be like the cat. Now I wish I'd been more generous, with my time at least. The Cubs lost the World Series (of course) on an odd play. If you don't follow baseball closely about five years ago the Commissioner to make the game more interactive, made a rule that if a fan in the stands catches a foul ball the batter is out and in the bottom of the ninth with the bases loaded and two outs a Sox fan did just that and was executed on the spot. An irate horde tore his arms and legs off and beat him on the head with his foot. My wife and daughter were at the game, sitting a section away (my daughter is dating a player) and were appalled. What do you expect? I asked. The world is fucked up, I added. Yesterday a small country was blown up by a car bomb and disappeared.

Night Shift

It doesn't matter to the long night if you stay alert and ward off the predators lurking at every other corner in the dark alleys of your conscience.

The long night doesn't provide a blanket to keep you warm.

The long night might be neutral or part of the problem.

The long night doesn't care if you get what you deserve, unless you deserve to get your ass kicked up the block and down the street.

The long night doesn't offer suggestions.

The long night doesn't mourn your loss of innocence.

If you're lucky the long night leaves you alone.

Bad Science

I can't
Move a mountain

I thought
I could move you

Lo and behold
I couldn't shove you an inch

I guess
You're a mountain

Nashville Bums

When I moved to Nashville I shared an apartment with Johnny Cash. My girlfriend lived down the hall. I was still married to a girl in Texas. I was always on the road. If I wasn’t Johnny was. Mostly we just used the place to crash, and as a place to hide our pills. We were both out of our minds but you couldn’t tell us anything. I stayed up all night writing songs and driving around town in my Cadillac. There was always someone hanging around like Kris Kristofferson. It was a great time to be a Nashville Bum. I was. So was Cash. My girl didn’t like it much. She wanted to move back to Phoenix. When I got my divorce we got married. I moved down the hall, Johnny said see you around, I laughed I’ll probably be back. The marriage didn’t work. Moving in made everything worse. We loved each other but wanted different things. I was chasing songs while she waited for me to come home. I rarely did. There would be plenty of time to sleep when I made it big. I wanted to be like Hank Williams or my friend Buddy Holly. I was willing to do anything to achieve my goals and it was fun. My family suffered. Now I am able to apologize but I guess my apology is a little late and a million dollars short. It wasn’t long before I moved down the hall again. I was back two weeks before Johnny knew it. When My wife went back to Phoenix I moved again. Johnny didn’t notice that either.