Crackin' Up

sometimes when you get a great hit
not a real good one a great hit makes your heart flip
and then it beats real fast for the rest of the night
like all the way from memphis sounded in 1975

the best hits are kind of scary
like you don’t want to run into a lion in the jungle
without a buffalo gun

anyway i was wondering
what my sister meant
when she said you’re like
a piece of prehistoric wood
i’m nowhere near decrepit
yeah i’m slowly going bald but who isn't
my teeth hurt but they still chew last time i checked
and maybe she meant it in a good way
like i’m an old soul
but i’m not really wise or patient

dope is my one constant
my great love affair
with death's second cousin
she’s seriously good looking
i fell in love the first time i saw her
sitting in a bar drinking a margarita

i wouldn’t change anything if i could
she dumped me like a dog in the rain

so i staggered into another bar
ordered a whiskey
played a game of darts
asked the bartender for a date and another
she said no thanks
maybe next time i said
she rolled her eyes
at the guy
sitting two stools down from me

the next morning i woke up with a world class hangover
pulled myself together and joined the army