Catherine The Great

When Catherine broke out of the Peace Corps
She took a job at the Roadrunner
Moved into a loft downtown
With three pseudo artists

And my old buddy Pete.

She worked at the bar
Monday through Thursday,
Everybody fell in love with her,
Even the girls.

She didn’t care,

While Tanya Tucker sang,

Lord I’m coming home, I’ve been fighting the devil too long,

She danced with herself behind the bar.

She never took a drink
Or did any dope,

Let me tell you
Catherine got plenty of offers

To do just about anything.

One guy wanted to take her to Peru
My father has a thousand acres.
I will give you anything you want.

She almost consented or at least briefly considered his offer.

I don't need anything, she said. Everything I need I keep in my purse.
But you are kind of cute, she smiled.

He was ugly as a post as my grandmother used to say about my dog Squirt.

That guy became a legend around here.
Most guys couldn’t even get a grunt or a faretheewell out of her.

They didn’t mind so much as wish
That things were different

If only she wasn’t so vacant,

An old drunk said sadly
And laid his bald head on the bar.

Hey Buddy, Catherine said. You can’t sleep here.