New France

my father made a deal with a frenchman who told him we would go to paradise if we believed in his god for tools made of steel we took him up the river that walks along the way i fell in love with his attendant the frenchman wore a black robe and luke wouldn’t look at me whenever he was around i asked luke about it he said it was complicated one day my father took me aside and said you’re a pretty girl too pretty for a frenchman i smiled that maybe so father my father believed that nothing the french did made much sense if france is so much better than new france why do they come here to die alone so far away from their clan he asked i had no answer it didn’t make sense to me either i asked luke if the black robe is a demon we were laying on the snow under a tree he said no he isn’t he doesn’t sleep with women i said that is kind of strange isn’t it luke said and smiled but i’m not sure i trust him my uncles and an ottawa medicine man convinced my father to abandon the black robe and luke and go to our winter hunting grounds luke left the black robe and followed us my father told my mother that luke follows us because he lusts after your daughter she’s your daughter too my mother said my father grunted my uncle aimed his arrow at luke my father stopped him and decided we should go back and get the black robe we told him we would take him to the huron mission my father said we found the black robe hiding behind bushes he tried to warn us but we were ambushed by an iroquois hunting party and taken prisoner my mother and uncle were killed in the skirmish and they marched us to their village while they were deciding what to do with us they took my sister from my arms and slit her throat that night i tricked a guard with my body and hit him on the head with a piece of firewood i cut my father and luke loose we will leave the black robe i said my father said no and we ran through the snow to our boats on the river my father wanted to go back the black robe said we will go to the huron village they would never expect us to go up the river you are not as dumb as i thought my father said my father had a arrowhead in his side the black robe said if we take it out you will die my father is a warrior he knew his blood was black he had a dream throughout his life about an island and a bird it was very cold when we found the island my father laid down under a leafless tree on the snow you must go with them he told me but i could not leave him my father said it’s no use leave me here like my dream if i had known it was a death dream i would have been braver i would not have shied away from things that scared me all of my life i have been so greedy the black robe wanted to bury my father he stays as he lays i said he is not Christian luke and i and the black robe went on to the huron mission take care of her the black robe said to luke i will stay with you luke said to the black robe i wasn’t surprised the black robe smiled but he looked sad you are all that she has i will be ok the black robe said so we left him almost alone and now i am french but i still believe that my dreams are more important than life and i will teach my french children this in the land my husband calls new france

Crackin' Up

sometimes when you get a great hit
not a real good one a great hit makes your heart flip
and then it beats real fast for the rest of the night
like all the way from memphis sounded in 1975

the best hits are kind of scary
like you don’t want to run into a lion in the jungle
without a buffalo gun

anyway i was wondering
what my sister meant
when she said you’re like
a piece of prehistoric wood
i’m nowhere near decrepit
yeah i’m slowly going bald but who isn't
my teeth hurt but they still chew last time i checked
and maybe she meant it in a good way
like i’m an old soul
but i’m not really wise or patient

dope is my one constant
my great love affair
with death's second cousin
she’s seriously good looking
i fell in love the first time i saw her
sitting in a bar drinking a margarita

i wouldn’t change anything if i could
she dumped me like a dog in the rain

so i staggered into another bar
ordered a whiskey
played a game of darts
asked the bartender for a date and another
she said no thanks
maybe next time i said
she rolled her eyes
at the guy
sitting two stools down from me

the next morning i woke up with a world class hangover
pulled myself together and joined the army

All He Had To Do

I was born and raised on an island in the Atlantic ocean. I joined the Army to get off the island because there’s not much for a girl to do there. I ended up in Georgia, a far inferior spot, but I had a job to do so I set out to make the most of it but I always felt like an outsider. I met a boy in a bar and he was interesting although undisciplined. We talked in the parking lot for about an hour. He told me about a book he'd just read and that he liked baseball and missed his mom and that he wished he had some pot. I overlooked his flaws and fell for him. I told him that I liked him at a party our Sergeant was throwing in honor of some stupid holiday celebrating the exploitation of indigenous people throughout the world. He told me that he liked me too but that he couldn’t go out with me because I am black. He kind of laughed and said that he deserved credit for being honest. I was stunned although maybe I shouldn’t have been. He didn’t seem like the kind of guy that would be bothered by something as insignificant as the color of my skin. I told him to go to hell. He said that he was in hell right now this party sucks and that was kind of funny and true but I wasn’t in the mood to laugh. He told me he would see me around. I hope not, I said and caught a ride to the barracks. He ate lunch at my table in the mess hall the next afternoon and told me that he wasn’t exactly honest with me yesterday. How so? I asked. It’s not that you're black that keeps me from going out with you it’s that I’m in love with someone. Who? I asked. It doesn’t matter, he said. Yes it does, I said. But he wouldn’t tell me, and that made me hate him. You’re a coward, I said and left him eating his hamburger. I went to my room and laid down. He knocked on my door. What do you want? I asked. Maybe we should give it a try, he said. Why? I asked. Because you like me and I like you, he said. I don’t like you anymore, I said. Now who’s not being honest, he said and smiled. He had a nice smile. I am honest and I’m not racist, I said. I guess I deserved that, he said, and left me laying on my bed feeling pretty bad about everything. A couple months later I borrowed a car and we went out to dinner. When we got back to the barracks I went to bed and he got in trouble for beating up a guy that narked on a friend of his and I never forgave his stupidity. Maybe I would have had he not messed with me. Anyway the last time I saw him it was raining and he said we should get married. I laughed and walked away. He looked sad like he didn’t know where to go. I didn’t care for a lot of reasons and I had a boyfriend by then who was really no better but I’d made my choice and so had he.

Poker Game

Mike stubbed out his cigarette. Stud, he said, and dealt the cards.
I poured a glass of whiskey and hoped for a very good or very bad hand, glanced in the kitchen at Mike’s wife Susan.
She smiled. I winked, looked at my cards, moaned and took a sip of my drink.
Susan brought a bowl of peanuts to the table and massaged Mike’s shoulders.
I folded and went to the bathroom and did a line of coke.
Susan opened the door and smiled. I cut her a line.
Why do you play that bloody game? She asked. I had no answer.
She kissed me. Not now, I said. When? She asked.
Maybe never, I said but knew that was bullshit. We would get together as soon as possible.
Are you afraid of Mike? She asked.
Sort of, I said. If he catches us screwing around he'll be pissed and I wont be and that gives him an edge.
Passion, she said. Yeah passion, I agreed.
Well anyway you being afraid to fuck me is not a turn on.
I brushed away some debris she left under her nose. What would you do if Mike walked in here right now? She asked.
I’d offer him a line, I said. I have to get back to the game, I added.
Yeah, she said. You do that.

In The Hall

Linda’s looking for you, Brown said. Fuck Linda, I said. Brown laughed. I wouldn’t mind, he said. She’s more trouble than she’s worth, I said. She has the best jugs on the base, Brown said. True, I agreed. I can’t for the life of me figure out why she’s looking for you, Brown said. She wants to tell me how many ways and times I’ve disappointed her in the last twenty - four hours, I said. If drinking's the problem drink a little less, Brown said, laughed and popped open a beer. Want one? He asked.

Catherine The Great

When Catherine broke out of the Peace Corps
She took a job at the Roadrunner
Moved into a loft downtown
With three pseudo artists

And my old buddy Pete.

She worked at the bar
Monday through Thursday,
Everybody fell in love with her,
Even the girls.

She didn’t care,

While Tanya Tucker sang,

Lord I’m coming home, I’ve been fighting the devil too long,

She danced with herself behind the bar.

She never took a drink
Or did any dope,

Let me tell you
Catherine got plenty of offers

To do just about anything.

One guy wanted to take her to Peru
My father has a thousand acres.
I will give you anything you want.

She almost consented or at least briefly considered his offer.

I don't need anything, she said. Everything I need I keep in my purse.
But you are kind of cute, she smiled.

He was ugly as a post as my grandmother used to say about my dog Squirt.

That guy became a legend around here.
Most guys couldn’t even get a grunt or a faretheewell out of her.

They didn’t mind so much as wish
That things were different

If only she wasn’t so vacant,

An old drunk said sadly
And laid his bald head on the bar.

Hey Buddy, Catherine said. You can’t sleep here.

Equal Rights

In the book Third And A Mile Doug Williams said Eddie Robinson told him that every man is born equal to become unequal

and after thinking about the statement for about ten minutes I concluded that Robinson meant that everyone should be given the opportunity to achieve more than their peers.

It is a great sentiment that could have been made a little clearer or put a little better.

However who am I to question a great man for his choice of words

and when you coach football at Grambling for over fifty years there’s a lot to consider

and when you fuck around for forty eight no one gives a shit what you think.

Hot As Piss In A Bucket

On a record setting hot day in Phoenix (128 degrees) I laid under a house my father was building while my brother installed insulation. I had very little to do that day besides give my brother a ride to the job site so I swept the floors and put things in their place and waited in the shade for my brother to finish so we could go home, smoke some weed and watch a baseball game on TV.

Blue Light Special

I was reading The War Within (A Secret White House History) by Bob Woodward in my cab across the street from the Ritz when a attractive lady pulled up beside and pointed at me and a guy in her car. I nodded. They kissed. It looked to me like she was kissing him to get rid of him. He walked up to my open window (wearing a fancy shirt that made him look like a busboy and two hundred dollar jeans) and asked how much it cost to go to Salty Senorita. Between fifteen and twenty, I said. Blue light special, he said, and got in the cab. You’re paying cash? I asked. Does it matter? He asked. To me, I said. Blue light special, he repeated. What does that mean? I asked. Are you a rocker? He asked. No, I said. What kind of music do you like? He asked. All kinds, I said. Turn it up, he said. I did and he hummed along to Taking Care Of Business. What kind of car is this? He asked. A Prius, I said. I can feel every bump, he said. It’s a cab, I said. So what, he said. It has a hundred and fifty thousand miles, I added. I’m from Vegas, I understand, he said. He played with his phone during the rest of the ride and as I was turning into the parking lot he said, right here, turn right, as I did. He gave me a twenty for a seventeen - eighty fare. I gave him two back. Thanks, he said. Yeah thanks, I agreed.

Portage

The land became rugged about fifteen miles from the Mississippi River (more important to America than the constitution) and the little border town of Pairie du Chien was quaint and looked like a nice place to settle down. I would have bought a summer house there if I had any money.

I arrived in my grandmother’s town Portage about a half hour outside of Madison in the middle of the afternoon and stopped in a tavern and had a little glass of Pabst. I would have had a few more but I wasn’t sure where I was going and didn’t want to get caught drinking and driving so I set off to find my grandmother’s house with the vaguest sense of where I was going.

Thirty minutes and a couple of U turns later I knocked on my Grandmother's door and my Aunt Sally’s husband Jerome greeted me warmly. My grandmother was laying on a hospital bed in the living room taking a nap, Jerome asked me how my trip was and I told him pretty damn long, but I saw some pretty cool shit, I whispered.

I walked to the golf course, smoked a joint and a couple cigarettes. I wanted to go to a bar but no one wanted to go with me, and that made me miss my brother and sister.

It was nice to see people that you like but rarely get to see. We talked a lot and read books and I probably watched a baseball game on TV with my grandmother who always kind of liked baseball. She used to take me to Brewer games when I was a kid and she always had the game on the radio while she was messing around in the kitchen.

The next afternoon I played golf and the humidity was worse than the Arizona heat I left two thousand miles behind and the horse flies and mosquitoes made the bad holes feel as bad as any hole in the world. I played poorly and thought I’ll get this fucking golf course next time but I never did.

The Girl Jumps

A coyote tirelessly scours the hills looking for his brother.

A fisherman throws a trout into a river.

At sunset the stars pop up out of nowhere.

A women stands on a bridge looks down at the Chattahoochee river.

The sky is dull gray and then deep blue.

A frog hops into a muddy puddle.

A snake slides into a bush.

A dog looks for something to do.

The man suddenly looks up.

True Grit

When Ulysses S. Grant was dying of cancer
He was broke.

Bad investments.

Grant needed money to care for his family.
Mark Twain commissioned him to write his memoirs.

Grant wrote on his porch,
Every day.

He died a week after he finished.

Grant was a pro,
Like Gary Templeton.

If you don’t believe me,

I guess
You have to
Read the book.

My Back Is Sore

My back is sore.
There is sharp pain running through my left knee.
My neck is stiff.
My hair is falling out slowly at least.
The whiskers on my face are half white and half brown and look unruly.
I hear voices.
They tell me to take it easy.
I do.
It doesn’t help.
My daughter laughs at me.
My mother thinks I am lazy.
My father doesn't care what I do.
My wife thinks I am sexy at least.
It's getting hot.
I miss the cold.
When it's cold I miss the heat.
I look up, see stars and don’t know what they mean or if they are meaningless, just pretty lights staring down at me.
I am nothing,
Compared to something,
Whatever that means.

The Communist

I was standing
Next to a lemonade stand

Arguing with a seven year old kid
About capitalism.

He said
I’m telling my dad.

Go ahead, I said.
I ain't scared of him.

Work

Every night

I sit in
An empty parking lot

Across the street
From a topless bar.

And think about
How much
I hate

Sitting here

Waiting
For something to happen

I don’t want to do.

Bolt Head

I was listening to NPR on my way to work and heard a review of a compact disc by the Plimsoul’s, recorded live at the Whiskey A Go Go and it reminded me of seeing Peter Case open for Jackson Browne at Compton Terrace in the late eighties with my brother and his girlfriend.
On the way to the concert my brother pissed his girlfriend off.
I don’t remember what he did, but it didn’t take much and she told us she was going to drop us on a freeway exit and you guys can hitchhike, she said, for all I care.
My brother talked her into sticking to the original plan and we sat on the grass in relative peace (their fights were sometimes never ending) and probably smoked some and Jackson Browne was pretty good, Peter Case was better.
I bought his tape a couple days later and I don't remember the name but it was excellent and I bought the Plimsoul’s album Everywhere At Once and loved the song A Million Miles Away but the rest of the record was only OK.
My brother finally dumped his girlfriend, finished college, married a teacher and when they fight, she doesn’t threaten to drop him on freeway exits twenty miles from home and five miles from where he’s going.

Back Roads

I was driving across the Badlands, the day before I was in the Black Hills, and saw the mountain face of the presidents

Should have checked out Crazy Horse. I may never get back that way again.

I was en route to Wisconsin, my Grandmother was dying, I hadn't been home in a long time listening to John Trudel, a poet, Indian activist, and AIM member

Backed by a rock band that featured a guitarist who played with Bob Dylan and George Harrison, name of Jessie Ed Davis. He died of a drug overdose, I think, shortly after (or while) the tape I was listening to was recorded.

I took the back roads because you see almost nothing on the highway. The towns were tiny and grim

Pissed in the Missouri River and smoked a joint, watched a guy fly fish for about ten minutes.

It took all day to cross South Dakota and when I finally did around dark, I got lost in the woods in Iowa.

My map didn’t help. I had to rely on common sense. It took a half an hour to get back on track. I made it about halfway across and stayed in a cheap motel full of bikers.

It was Friday night. I had a beer in a bar with more than it's share of good - looking women. None of them said a word to me and I didn’t know what to say to them. I never have so I sat and watched the good times roll under my nose

Like clouds tearing across the cold gray sky during a thunder - storm.

Unsolicited

I picked her up at Urgent Care, took her to County, got paid ten by the State for an eighteen dollar fare. I didn’t ask, she told me, that her primary was supposed to check her blood every month and hadn’t for over two. She said she’d been dizzy for four days. It sucks being epileptic. I wouldn’t even be epileptic if I hadn’t been pushed out of a truck and cracked my skull. I had a blood clot on my brain for twenty years before I noticed anything was wrong. My daughter needs a babysitter, if she doesn’t get one she will get suspended. She works at Walgreen's. My son usually baby - sits for her but he’s in jail. She wants to post his bond. I told her to let him rot, he needs to take care of his own shit. This sucks, it sure does I thought. Good luck, I said and dumped her in front of the ER.

Serenade

we stood under a street light
in the parking lot of a bar
in phoenix city alabama
did you know that patton wanted to level phoenix city when he was stationed at ft. benning
no i didn’t but he should have
i think i read something about that
you probably did you read too much
we should climb the cow in front of the milk factory later
maybe
when we get drunker
let’s go back inside
she said and tossed her cigarette into the street
what’s wrong
nothing she said
i don’t believe you
then don’t

Shadows

shadows dancing in the wind your hair moves like a deer in a movie I saw a girl get her brains blown out last night a dog barking woke me up apple pie for breakfast tastes like you did when you were reckless you left me in the woods without cigarettes or a place to go I went to a tavern on the outskirts of a little town a cop asked what are you doing I said nothing he said you can’t do that here so I went somewhere else I’m there now come see me if you get the chance

Thoughts About The Winter Olympics

If you are a ski racer you are going to crash
It’s a matter of time

No matter how good you are

Don’t pick a fight
In a bobsled bar

Not Much

Maybe I write
To make myself believe
I am not wasting my life.
While knowing

A great poet said
He wasted his life
Walking around Japan

Learning to write
Like Chinese masters.
He didn’t think he had.

Maybe his was a wasted life;
If so
What does that say about mine?

Heresay Blues

In Amsterdam
You can get anything you want
I prefer Asian

When I smoke opium
I get lonesome
For America

Last Night

Men seldom make passes
At girls who wear glasses.

Dorothy Parker

he sits at the end of the bar
drinking whiskey
a woman smiles and asks
if he has a dollar for the jukebox
he ignores her
he periodically glances behind him
at two girls sitting in a booth
they are about twenty - five years old
and very pretty he thinks
they come to the bar together
every couple of weeks
old friends
he smiles
pays up walks outside
stands on a street corner
looks at a tall ugly building
past that to the sky and clouds
no stars
it’s windy
he waits
five minutes
the girls walk out of the bar
giggle for a few seconds
and say good-bye
one of the girls walks toward him
she sees him
slows her pace
he watches
smells her fear
it smells sweet
like sweat
she walks past him
sighs looks back
she starts running
runs into him
he smiles
please let me go
he laughs
if i wanted to do that i wouldn’t have stopped you
he rubs a knife across his pants
now would i

Three AM

Street lamp shines in my eyes while I try to take a nap in my cab, adjust visor, no effect, moving the cab out of light path seems like a lot of trouble, have the seat as far back as it will go, put hand and foot in path of glare, wait for computer to ping so I can take someone somewhere.

Pure Poison

It’s too bright
You said and squinted
Handed me a glass
I filled
You took a sip
Grimaced
This tastes like shit
Get me some ice
And more orange juice
This tastes like poison
Pure poison
I wish
I thought
Walked into the kitchen
I fixed you a fresh screw driver
It was two thirty
In the afternoon
We were both free
To do as we pleased
And we pleased
Ourselves not each other
I’m dying in here
You yelled
I thought
I wish
I sat
Took a shot of vodka
What the fuck are you doing in there
I’m thirsty
Nothing
I thought
I will never do anything again.

Cate's First Spanking

Penny was in the shed doing laundry. I was laying on the couch, thinking about how hard it is to post a poem a day on the internet. Our daughter Cate opened the door. She wanted to go outside and meet up with her mother. I told her to stay put and that her mother would be back in a minute. She stood by the door, watching me, like a dog, waiting for me to lose interest. She eased herself out and by the time Penny returned she was halfway to the shed. Cate needs a timeout, I said. Did she go outside without permission? My wife asked. She sure did, I said. Maybe she should get one spanking for each year she’s old, Penny said. I agreed. Penny told Cate to take a timeout or she would get a spanking. Cate chose the spanking because she had never had one. I gave her three hard ones and she cried like I broke her arm. One would have been enough and I hope I never have to give her another one. I am not old school or new age or claim to know that much about anything, but I do know that pain is cheap and she will be able to find it easy enough, without me dishing it out like macaroni and cheese.

I Never Should Have Left That Wonderful Place

I was sitting on the couch at a party
Featuring great food and cocaine
Sipping Absolute on the rocks with lime
Thinking this isn’t a bad place to be right now.

Some guy sitting in a chair across the room said Edward Hopper was An awful painter but a great artist.
How can that be? I thought.
Was he a sculptor? I asked.
He wasn’t listening to me.

I couldn't stop thinking about the disastrous last play of a devastating Baseball game.

A girl said let's get out of here.
We went to a bar.
I woke up dead
With a crumpled napkin in my jacket pocket that said

Edward Hopper
Awful painter
Great artist.

A Lake In The Woods

Burning clouds float over a body of water.

In a cabin two couples play bridge.

A dog on a chain barks at a duck.

Two girls sit on a rock sharing a cigarette.

You are too conservative he says and throws his cards across the table.

For heaven’s sake she says, and scoops up the cards. It's just a game.

One of the girls pitches the spent cigarette into the water and follows it in.

Gross, the other girl says.

They both laugh.

I would like to go home.

We finish what we start.

Finish it yourself. I'm leaving.

The dog watches the duck float away, wags his tail and shuts his eyes.

She leaves, the game of cards ends.

She walks along the shore, sees the girls and waves.

They wave back. You should come in, the water's great.

The sun drops below the tree line and lies down on the lake.

Motel

She takes off her clothes, folds them neatly, places them on a chair next to the door and sits on the bed. He turns on the TV and watches an inning of a baseball game. She asks if he’s OK, he says he is. She takes a shower, sits on a chair, he asks if she’s OK, she says she is. Is the game almost over? She asks. It doesn’t matter, he says and turns it off. She lies down beside him, he turns off the light. He wakes up a couple hours later, goes outside, smokes a cigarette in the parking lot, watches a girl talk to a guy in a car across the street. He flips his butt and goes back to the room. She wakes up, where were you, she asks. Outside for a minute, he says. I was worried, she says. I’m sorry, he says. How do you feel? She asks. Kind of restless, he replies. Try and get some sleep we have a long day ahead of us, she says. I know I’ll be alright, don’t worry, he says. She closes her eyes. He looks at the ceiling and thinks about the guy and the girl on the street. The moon shimmers through the window and illuminates her face. He dreams about a little brick house beside a lake in the woods. She touches his foot with her foot. He can’t remember who she is.

Down The Fairway With Brown Deer Pt. II (Sun City)

Clouds were rolling in,

The wind was picking up,

There were little waves on the pond in the front of the green,

It started to sprinkle,

We were playing the eleventh at Happy Trails,
A 142 - yard par three.

I threw some grass in the air.
The wind's in our face, I said.

Phil hit his T shot ten yards.
I put mine onto the middle of the green.
Brown Deer hit his through the window of a trailer.

You should take a drop,
I told Phil.

Phil was standing on the edge of a pond,
He swung,
Lost his balance,
Fell in.

A lady was standing outside the trailer frowning.
She wanted Brown Deer to pay for the broken window.

I don’t have any money, Brown Deer said.

It’s your fault for living on a golf course, Phil added.