Some Thing To Depend On

i got married
two weeks after i graduated
from high school
my girlfriend got pregnant
an abortion was out of the question
we weren’t built like that
maggie was seventeen
cute as hell
a good sport
i thought

she got heavy
complained about everything

a couple years later
we had another kid
things got worse
i got laid off
of one shitty job
got fired or quit a bunch more
maggie worked too
when she could
the kids became unruly and stupid
who can blame them
they were being raised by fools
angry ones who didn’t get along
every night was the
same old same old
tv beer and dope
then i realized
that i hated them all
they hated me too

so i started following girls home
from the grocery store

sometimes i would wait in the parking lot
for hours
i would watch them get out of their cars
and unlock their front doors
sometimes i would just follow them in
and if that didn't work
i learned how to pick locks

i could stand for hours like a ghost
just watching
them do what ever they did
i never moved and
acquired a discipline
i never had before

something to depend on
in this wicked world

like god