When I Was In The Army

When I was in the Army Ronald Reagan was the Commander In Chief. I thought he was a stupid son of a bitch who didn’t care about anything but himself and his rich friends. In the proceeding years my opinion of him has softened somewhat partly because of the Bushes and their idiotic unnecessary wars that may have got me killed or riding around in a wheel chair. Those bozos make Reagan look pretty good. My buddy Rick told me that if he thought I meant it when I told him I’d shoot the prick if I got the chance he would kick my ass and he could have. Rick was a tough dude. I do mean it man, I said (but I was just talking like a man with a paper asshole) and handed him a beer. You shouldn’t say that, Rick said, guzzeled the beer, climbed a tree and dove into a shallow creek. Your turn, he said. Not in a million fucking years.