Making Plans

After a long day washing dishes at Denny’s I walked in the bar, sat down, ordered a beer lit a cigarette and thought about robbing a bank or more realistically, a liquor store. I needed money to give to my ex wife so she would let me see my ex kid. I could take him to a baseball game if I had some money. I raised my empty bottle and winked at the bartender. She brought me another. “Thanks,” I said, she smiled and I wished I were someone else. Somewhere else, anywhere, with some money, my son and a woman that at least pretended she loved me. “Fuck it,” I thought and put three dollars in the jukebox and played “Good Hearted Woman” as if there are any. As if I really wanted to be somewhere else with my son, I want another beer, easy enough; I thought, made it happen and sighed. It ain’t so bad and neither am I.
While I was walking home I decided to call my ex wife from a pay phone outside a Circle K. “Hey baby.”
“Don’t call me that.”
“I called hoping I could talk to Jason.”
“He’s not here.”
“When will he be.”
“None of your business.”
“Why are you so pissed at me?”
“That’s a stupid question.”
“Maybe, anyway, I’ll call later.”
“Please don’t.”
“Shit,” I said hung up walked into the store and bought a twelve pack. At least I have a job I thought and laughed.

I woke up at five, drank a beer, walked to the Denny’s and quit my job. My boss told me I’d end up back in jail. I said, “Yeah, I fucking hope so.”
“You’re a pussy.” My boss said as I walked outside. It was a nice day, too early to buy beer, I walked home and went to sleep. I dreamed I was playing in the NFL. I woke up, walked to the Circle K, bought a twelve pack and called my ex wife. “Hey baby.”
“Don’t call me that.”
“I’m going to rob a bank.”
“If you do, you owe me money.”
“That’s all you think I’m good for.”
She laughed.
“What’s so funny?”
“You are.”
“Can I come over?’
“No.”
“Why not.”
She laughed again, said “Goodbye,” and hung up.
At least she said goodbye; I thought while I walked home to think about the bank. It can’t be that hard. I thought about bank robber movies but that depressed me. I like movies where the bad guys get away with it and couldn’t think of any. I’d seen some but they were on the tip of my tongue. When I got out of jail my buddy Tom gave me a thirty-eight he had in his safe. “What do I need this for?” I asked.
“You never know.”
Tom was right.
I took the pistol with me to the bar. I had a lot to think about and I was driving myself nuts. I thought I could use some company. The bar was almost empty. I asked the bartender for a shot of whiskey and a beer. I drank them quick and ordered another. “I quit my job this morning.” I said.
“Cool,” she responded and handed me the shot and beer.
“I had to, do you like your job?”
“It’s alright.”
“Mine sucked.”
“Most of them do.”
“I’ll drink to that,” and I did. I tried to think of something else to say, couldn’t and she was gone. “I would take five years off the ass end of my life if I could fuck her tonight,” I said softly to myself.

Plans do not work, I thought. “Can I have another? Action,” I said.
The bartender set a full glass next to my hands. I smiled. No reaction.
“Are you driving?” The bartender asked.
I laughed. “I wish I was.”
"At least you're not" she said and strolled down the bar.
“I wish I was. What do you think about that?” I asked myself.

I didn't rob a bank. I am not that ambitious. I walked home put the gun under my bed and slept. I woke up the next morning and begged my job back. The moral of this very short story is they always need dishwashers at Denny's, I guess.

A Vulgar Poem For A Vulgar Time

All soldiers are heroic in the the first decade of the twenty - first century.
What were they before and what will they be after the war?
Your guess isn't as good as mine, but go ahead and tell me anyway Mr. Congressman.
Mr. I went to law school.
Mr. I fucked my intern in the ass while he edited my speech.
Mr. I gave my wife a publicly funded five hundred thousand dollar a year, twelve hour a week job.
Mr. I don't know fuck all about fuck all.
Yeah go ahead and tell me something.

Wade

I met Wade in the mess hall at Fort Lee in 1983 he was singing Wade why do you drink why do you roll smoke a half hour later we were in the back of a truck
What did you do to end up here this fine Sunday morning at the crack of dawn he asked
I fell asleep in the shower while the platoon was cleaning the bathroom
Wade laughed I got drunk last night and woke everyone up when I came in
The truck stopped
We jumped out
Walked down the road
And picked up trash

Wade and I both ended up packing parachutes at Fort Benning a couple months later we were sitting in a strip club on Victory Drive in Columbus
He bought us beers and didn’t leave a tip
I told him he should
He said I would if I could that was my last three bucks I was hoping you could lend me twenty till payday
I handed him a twenty and tipped the waitress
Wade said remind me to buy a carton of cigarettes

Wade and I invented a game
We would throw a golf ball
Down the hall
Against the wall and
Catch it
The best out of ten wins
Easy enough
Unless you throw the ball too hard and if you throw it soft you’re a pussy
One boring Sunday morning
Wade threw the ball too hard jumped out of the way and laughed
Siebert walked out of his room into the hall on the way to the bathroom and got hit on the ankle
Wade ran into his room and locked it
What the fuck Siebert yelled I’m going to kill you Brown

Wade and I got in trouble for watching a fight in the middle of the night
Wiggans fought Wellman to a draw
Wellman narked
The three of us were arrested for conspiracy to commit assault
We just watched Wade said to the First Sergeant
You hung Wellman out a third floor window you guys are lucky we don’t charge you with attempted murder
I said we didn’t hang him out the window
I’m supposed to believe that the First Sergeant said
I don’t appreciate being called a liar I said
The First Sergeant’s face got red Johnson I would like to take you behind the Barracks and kick your ass
Wade tried but couldn’t not laugh

That was Wade’s last straw they kicked him out of the Army
The last time I saw him he said addios Johnson cry no tears for me
I’m going fishing in Alaska

No Hands

Laughing little girl
Falling like a hat on fire
Into a dark hole

Faretheewell

We heard but could not see the river, we shared a Coke in her car, while the radio played Tom Petty softly, she told me about being pregnant her senior year in high school.
She lived in her brother’s guesthouse, and Mike brought her groceries and cigarettes, she said, it was just awful.
Mike was my friend but that didn’t matter, while we sat in a bar, he asked me what he should do with her.
I told him I didn’t know but I thought he was lucky.
He laughed sadly and said, I am lucky but unlucky as well.
If she wasn't beautiful everybody wouldn’t want to fuck her and she’s weak.
So are we.
I bought him another drink.
The night was on me.
Mike had a family to feed.
He’s a good father, sometimes I love him more than the kids and sometimes he’s the biggest asshole that ever lived, Amanda said, lit a cigarette off of mine and laughed.
Mike scored some acid, the three of us dropped, at their house.
While Mike and I sat on the porch and smoked, I looked at the woods across the street.
They looked like a painting I could walk into.
I told Mike.
He told me to be careful.
That’s how you get in trouble.
Amanda made us lunch while we watched Michigan play Ohio State.
After the game Mike and I took their son Kevin to a bridge over a creek.
Kevin was Mike's son their daughter was someone else's.
I love them both the same, he said and threw a rock at a tree.
Amanda took a picture out of her purse and handed it to me.
She was wearing a blue dress posing with Kevin.
It’s the only picture I have with me.
A fingernail moon hung low over the trees in front of a liquor store, I waited in the car, for the come what may, the peace terms, the old heave ho.
The invisible river was roaring like a volcano.

With Penny

Cold wind

Blows through
The apartment

We lie back
To back

Touch your hand
With my hand
Your leg
With my leg

Short night

Over
Forever

Again

Bonding

The night my father left his fourth wife
He dropped by my apartment with a bottle of scotch
Do you have any pain killers - He asked - My knees are killing me

I gave him a morphine pill

Playing country music is easier than making a free throw
My father said, sat at my keyboard and played Today I Started Loving You Again

We killed the bottle
Listening to Patsy Cline sing
I’m So Lonesome I Could Cry

Over and over and over again

Up North Over The Rim

Under the deep purple sky
I built a fire

What do we have to eat

Not much

Do you think it’s going to snow

It might

I hope it don’t

Too cold to snow
I threw a log on the fire
Be careful
What you wish for
Turned the radio on
Johnny Cash cheered us up

I can’t believe I missed that buck

Shots like that don’t grow on trees

It’s going to get cold

No shit

No I mean Like Siberia

One Drum Beating A Death Song

Next to a lake
Under an oak tree

We sit
Drink beer
Wait

For the sun to go away

A snake crawls
Between her feet

Under the lawn chair
Through the Daisies
Into the weeds

Shit she yells
Jumps
Runs away

He’s harmless I say

Kill it - If you ever want to sleep with me again

Especially now I add

I finish my beer
Laugh
Yawn
Walk halfway around the lake to a tavern

Play Ramblin’ Man on the jukebox

Sit down

Buy the bar a round

Call her on the phone

She doesn’t answer

Adios boys I say

Walk around the lake three and a half - times
Find a hoe in the shed

I have to kill a snake
Before I can go to bed

I Miss What I Can Not Touch

I miss the cold wind

The hard rain
The oak tree
The unbearable pain
The red dog

The little bar

Up north
In the forest
Beside a river

My Foundation Is Floating Away

The river is running wild. It seems as though it has been raining for years. A coyote howls at the invisible moon. I know that’s a cliché, but she really did. The rain stops. The wind picks up. The light goes out. I do not have a candle and if I did I wouldn’t know where it is. A woman would have candles and know where they are but women leave and don't return sometimes. The coyote howls again. I light a cigarette, pour a glass of whiskey, and look out the window at the absence of light, beginning to fade. The sun is not that far away. The river is a runaway train hauling coal down a steep hill. I wish I could listen to the all night blues show on the radio.

Tangible

My father’s fourth wife
My brother his wife
My wife
Call my mother a saint

I think they miss the point

She’s a soldier

The kind you would like
To have
In your foxhole

When the other side
Creeps under the wire

In the middle of a starless night

While everyone
Gets drunk
Reads
Listens to music

She guards the fort

Getting Over Linda

Wiggins lit a joint and handed it to me. We were walking under a two hundred fifty foot tower on the way to softball practice. Three such towers dominate the jump school grounds at Fort Benning. They are used to simulate jumping out of a plane. On weekdays there are hundreds of trainees running around, getting yelled at, swearing under their breath, learning how to land softly and what to do if their parachute has a total malfunction. Black hats, (Airborne instructors) stride about the A.O. They are slim and mean-looking rednecks for the most part. The black hats yell, occasionally give instruction, make trainees do push - ups, get in line, and do grass drills in a mud pit. You can teach just about anyone how to jump out of an airplane in about three hours. It takes three weeks to learn how to be a paratrooper. “This is good shit,” I said. “Where did you get it?”
"Ready's husband,” Wiggins said.
“I thought he quit dealing.”
“He did, until he realized he was paranoid.”
“Who wouldn’t be around here.”
We finished the joint. Wiggins ate it and we walked up to the backstop. "You’re late,” Norman said.
Norman and I go back a ways. First day in the Company I got assigned to his room. He got Sergeant Rickers to get me re - assigned, (To a room with the biggest Jackass in the unit) because Norman packs parachutes faster than anyone else in the Company. Fair enough, Norman isn’t a bad guy or that bad of a softball coach but he gets on my nerves and I didn’t want to practice.
“Take some swings and replace someone in the field.” Norman said.
Barry hit first. He swung at and missed the first eight pitches. “Come on Barry, swing easy.” Norman yelled.
Wiggins hit the ninth pitch to the pitcher.
"That's more like it" I said.
”Replace Graves in right center.” Norman said.
I grabbed a bat and hit five line drives, three grounders and two fly outs.
“Good job, take left field.” Norman said.
I picked up my glove and walked through our field to the adjacent one where the girls were practicing.
“Turner!” Norman yelled.
Linda was waiting to hit
“What are you doing here?” She asked.
“Same thing you are.”
“Turner!”
“No, you're not." Linda said.
“I have to talk to you.”
"I'm busy. Norman wants you."
"I don't care."
“You don’t care about anything.” Linda said. She replaced Washington in the batter's box.
“How’s it going Washington?” I asked.
“Good, Turner.” Washington said and took third base.
I sat down on a bench and watched Linda hit. When she finished, I asked her, “who’s playing shortstop?”
“Her name is Betty?”
“Is she a rigger?”
“Yes, she has been here for three weeks.”
“How come I haven’t seen her?”
“Because you don’t pay attention.” Linda said, picked up her glove and took first base.
“Linda.”
“What?”
“I have to talk to you.”
“I’m busy.”
Fuck I thought and walked back to my field. There were five balls laying there because I wasn’t. I threw them in. Graves hit a ball I could have caught, but let drop in front of me. “Goddamn Turner!” Norman yelled. I made a nice catch on Graves' next swing. “That’s more like it.” Norman yelled. The next one dropped between Siebert and I. “You should have had that.” Siebert said. I walked back to the other field. Betty was waiting to hit. “How do you like Fort Benning?” I asked.
“It’s O.K.”
“You’re better than our shortstop.”
Betty laughed, “Aren’t you supposed to be in left field?”
She went to hit. Siebert sat down. “Turner, Siebert!” Norman yelled.
“You got any dope?” Siebert asked.
“No but Wiggins does. Ready’s husband is dealing again. Will you give me a ride out there tonight?”
“Yeah,” Siebert said, “I gotta go talk to Wiggins.”
Betty hit eight line drives, popped one up and hit another line drive and took over for the pitcher, Trish.
“Hey Trish.” I said.
Trish smiled. “How are you, Mac?”
“Good, what are you doing tonight?”
“Steve and I are going to a movie.”
I was in love with Trish and that helped screw up my relationship with Linda. If you can call it a relationship. Steve's a good guy. I introduced him to Trish. I went out with Trish a few times. The last time we did I hit a deer on the way home from a bar. I was driving Ackerman's car. Trish told him that I was drunk. I will always kind of pine for her. “Your shortstop is better than ours,” I said.
Trish laughed. “I think Norman wants you,” Trish said and pointed. Norman was walking in our direction.
“I'm supposed to be in left field."
“Why aren’t you?”
“Cause I’d rather sit here and talk to you.”
Trish shrugged. “I have to hit,” she said and smiled.
“Get your ass in left field,” Norman said.
“See that girl pitching?” I said.
“Betty.”
“She’s a better shortstop than Foster.”
“Hi Trish.” Norman said.
Trish waved and walked up to the plate.
“Why is she pitching?”
“Cause Trish is hitting.”
Norman sat down, “Trish is looking good.”
“She always does.”
Norman is in love with her too. “Do you know where Siebert went?”
“Yeah he’s talking to Wiggins.”
“Where’s Wiggins?”
“That I don’t know. Wasn’t he in right center?”
“He was.”
I looked, Graves was in center field, he was the only guy out there. About fifteen balls were scattered in the outfield. Trish hit a hard grounder up the middle, Betty scooped it and threw it to Linda.
“Damn,” Norman said, “that was nice.”
“Look alive out there Graves,” I yelled.
Graves flipped me off.
“Can she hit?”
“Better that Foster.”
“I can’t replace Foster with a girl.”
“Do you have twenty bucks I can barrow?” I asked.
Wiggins and Siebert walked up and sat down.
“Where did you guys go?” Norman asked.
“Nice hitting, Wiggins.” I said.
“Fuck off Mac.” Wiggins said.
Ackerman appeared.
“Why didn’t you come to practice Kevin?” Norman asked.
“I had to take Jackie to the bank,” Ackerman said.
“Jackie’s in center field,” Norman said and pointed.
“Yeah I know, I’m here to pick her up.”
“You have to shorten your swing and choke up,” Siebert said.
“I couldn’t see the ball,” Wiggins said.
Trish finished hitting and practice ended.
“Every girl on this team can hit better than you Wiggins,” I said.
“You should kick Mac off the team Mike,” Linda said to Norman.
“I would if I could,” Norman said.
Linda looked at me and smiled, “Why are you here?”
“I wanted to talk to you.”
“That’s too bad.”
“Walk back to the barracks with me."
Linda laughed, “I have a ride.”
“It wouldn’t kill you to walk with me.”
“Yes it would,” Linda said, turned around, took a few steps and turned around again, “come here.”
I did.
“You’re stoned.” She whispered. “You are going to get caught.”
“What do you care?”
“I don’t,” Linda said, turned around and kept walking this time. I watched her for awhile. I could watch her walk away from me forever, under a pretty sunset on a spring night in Georgia. Well I tried, I thought.
Siebert and I helped Norman pick up the equipment. I got a ride with Siebert to the barracks. We cleaned up and drove to Ready's. I bought a half ounce and we ended up at a party at Fredrick's house. I got pretty fucked up but I was too sad to even notice. I kept wondering where Linda was and then she showed up with Norman and the company clerk. Linda and the clerk held hands, danced and made out on the couch. I drank whiskey and watched. I followed Linda into the bathroom. “Get out of here,” She said.
“I have to talk to you.”
“Not here, right now.”
“Then when? Never?”
“Maybe.”
“Why are you so mad at me?”
“I’m not mad at you. I am disappointed in you.”
“Why is that?”
“Because you don’t know how good you could be. You don’t even try. Now get out.”
I did as I was told, found my bottle of Whiskey and sat down on a couch. A pretty girl sat next to me. I didn’t know her. "What’s wrong?” She asked.
“Nothing.”
“Liar.”
I handed her the bottle. She took a little swig and gave it back.
“What’s your name?” I asked.
“Amanda.”
“I’m Mac, nice to meet you.”
“What’s wrong, Mac?”
“Nothing.” I handed her the bottle. “Nothing's wrong, Amanda,” I said.

Dead Coyotes And Rattlesnakes

My father hung two dead coyotes from a Palo Verde tree behind our house. He had my brother and I catch rattlesnakes in our spare time, which he kept in wood and glass cages he built. The coyotes smelled worse than an egg fart in a compact car. The snake my father called Billy Jack escaped while we were at school. My mother found him coiled in front of the master bedroom door. I put him back in his cage when I returned. My mother told my father about it when he came home. He checked the condition of the cage and said it was sound and it probably wouldn’t happen again. A couple weeks later it got too hot in the house and the snakes died. My brother skinned them and sold their skins for five dollars a piece to a friend of my dad's who owned a leather shop. My mother asked my father what he was planning to do with the coyotes. He told her he was waiting for their coats to fall off. My mother said I think it’s time to get rid of them. The next morning my brother and I buried them in the softest dirt we could find. My father told us to dig the holes deep so the dogs don’t smell them.

One For My Dad

If you take a walk in the woods of Willoughby Hills, you might get shot by a hunter or someone who thinks you're trespassing. However, if you avoid that or some other fate, you might come upon a long, narrow, concrete, glass and wood structure. If you do, stop and consider the cognitive balance that is possible if you stick your neck out for something. If you can ignore the clever sages and the idiots and the in-laws and all those worthless kids, you can do damn near anything and this house in the tall trees and almost blue grass, is a good example. So stand and stare, contemplate something besides your mobile phone for a couple minutes and see how your mind responds. If nothing happens, don't worry. It won't take but seconds to throw a text cross-country about the great baseball game you ignored last night! Or how expensive the tickets were! The great new strip club you found after! The girl you are screwing, or anything else you're doing with your life right now!

Sophomoric

Sometimes it’s hard to see the big picture,
and writing a thesis and supporting it
is not what life’s about.
It’s about fucking around,
getting drunk,
watching football games,
and playing golf,
with your buddies,
and you don’t need a valid conclusion to do that.
Dissecting abstract thought or coming up
with an original idea gets
you nothing on the golf course,
when you’re telling a funny story
over a two foot putt for par.
Any damn nonsense will suffice
and nothing Robert Frost
ever wrote sounds any better
than your ball
falling in the hole
on a nice day.

Mess Hall

I was eating supper in the mess hall, sporting a grotesque hangover that wouldn't go away. I slept through lunch and thought some food might help. Veal, mashed potatoes and chocolate milk were at least doing no further harm. Linda walked up and set her tray on the table. "May I sit down," she asked and smiled.
"Of course you can." I said and winced.
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing. How are you?"
"I'm great."
"That's good to hear. I'm great too."
"You don't look great."
"Thanks, I meant in general. Not today, right now."
"So how about today, right now?"
"Not so good."
She sort of smiled, kind of sadly. "That's what I thought."
Dostoevsky stood in front of a firing squad before his sentence was commuted to four years in Siberia. I wonder what he was thinking about (before and after his sentence was altered)? What goes through someones mind, when they are about to die? What is it like to know the exact minute it is going to happen? My history is not epic, my life is not that tragic. Charles Bukowski said love is a dog from hell. I understand this without thinking about it. Like reflex, or a touchdown pass dropping into my hands after school, my dad's belt on my ass, or the snow falling sideways into my face. And howling like a gut shot dog doesn't make it momentous.
"I heard you received an article fifteen yesterday." Linda said.
"You heard right."
"So how can your life be great in general?"
"It can't. I was lying."
"Why lie to me?"
"To spare you."
"I couldn't care less."
"Now who's lying?
"I used to. I admit."
"How's Jack?"
Linda smiled. "He's fine." She said while she picked up her tray. I lit a cigarette and grinned like a man who has been rode hard and put up wet. "He's a fucking asshole." I said under my breath.
"You smoke too much and you shouldn't in here."
I didn't tell her that I might be in love with her. I saved that for another day, when I felt better. I didn't want to sound pathetic and ain't that ironic.

Cave Creek

my old buddy

pete called

how's it going

i asked

not so good

pete said my wife and i

are separating

why’s that

i asked

she’s kicking me out

because she doesn’t want

to sleep with me anymore

she says she can't

i laughed that’s a

tough break man

pete named his son ian

after ian hunter

the singer in

mott the hoople

my brother

pete and i

hitchhiked

from new river

to mesa to see

ian hunter and

mick ronson

when we were

in high school

mick ronson

was in david bowie's band

when bowie was good

he played on great albums like

diamond dogs

ziggy stardust

welcome to the club

and you're never alone with a schizophrenic

he also was a part of bob dylan’s

rolling thunder review

mick ronson

got cancer and died about five years ago

ian hunter wrote

a song about him

called michael picasso

after high school

pete and i holed up

in cave creek

we lived in a shack

across the street

from the lumber yard

next to a car wash

and behind us

over a hill

a white church

with a basket ball hoop

in the parking lot

pete and i

shot hoops there

once in awhile

my dog jenny

lived with us

pete called her

leonard

pete was looking

out the window

at jenny running

across cave creek road

i picked a nice roach

out of the ashtray

and asked

why are you sniffing glue

when you have this

i already smoked that

pete said

i lit it and offered it to him

i’m good

yeah you are

i’m going to go

find my dog

leonard’s just right there

i put the roach in my pocket

pete laughed

i don’t know what happened but it did

he said

i followed jenny to the dumpster

in the parking lot of the horny toad

when jenny and i returned

pete had his head

inside a plastic bag

and jojoba mike and eric

the carpenter who lived across the street

were smoking a joint

and watching a football game

on pete’s black and white tv

who’s winning i asked

i don’t know mike said

and handed me the joint

who’s playing

mike do you know where

to get any acid

pete asked

mike hired

illegal aliens

to pick jojoba beans

sometimes though

when times were tough

he and his wife

were the only pickers

he had

she would

come by sometimes

to take a shower when

they were living in the house

on the other side of

the car wash

that place never had

hot water

she was cute

mike was a vietnam vet

i told him once

that i respected him for that

he told me

i shouldn’t

but i always have

eric worked

for my dad sometimes

so did i

he was a good

dope connection

he lived next door

to a gay guy

named darien

everyone called

darien

darvon

pete and i

would have eric

score our dope

from him

i didn't know how

to roll a joint

back then

i was over at eric’s house

and he said

i could take one home

if i rolled it correctly

i learned how to roll a joint

that day

years later

eric got arrested

for child molestation

i didn’t know him then

my dad told me about it

he still lives in cave creek

eric was acquitted

but i bet

he was never

the same guy

after that

he had a heart attack

and died in his sleep

a couple years ago

i always kind of looked up to him

he was a pretty good carpenter

kenny knows where to get some

i said

kenny the twit

pete asked

yeah i said i bet he aint’ sniffing glue

not if he has acid

mike said

hey eric are you

going to help

my dad build

gordie’s house

out on

dynamite boulevard

i asked

i’m going to prescott

for two months

eric said

where does kenny live

mike asked

my dad

moved to telluride

i was out

of a job

i hitchhiked

to scottsdale community college

for awhile

but my heart wasn’t in it

my dad talked me into

moving up to colorado

and pete moved into phoenix

i gave the house to jimmy hough

a couple years later

he burned it down

you can still see the ruins

if you drive down

cave creek road

jenny moved in

with my mother

up on the navajo reservation

it was a better place

for her to live

she’s buried up there

on a hill

where my mom

used to take her

to run

i joined the army in denver

stayed in three years

about the time i got out

pete joined up

four years later

pete got out and

moved back to phoenix

we would run

into each other

every once in awhile

he was living in a trailer

outside an art house

in an alley downtown

when he met his wife

i was there

one night

she dropped by

i liked her

when we lived in

cave creek

pete was reading

death in venice

a page a day

i don’t think

he finished it

though maybe

he did

anyway twenty years later

i told my dad about it

he thought

it was kind of noble

and i guess it was

interesting

at least

my dad always liked pete

i know it isn't funny

but it really is

i said

yeah i guess

if i were a judge

i said

if you were a judge eric

we would all be in deep shit

pete said

Sunday Morning Break Down

Cate and I are watching Marquette play Notre Dame. Penny is in Cave Creek hiking with her friend Joanne. When Penny gets home I'm going to play golf with my brother. He drinks four beers per side so I have to pick him up and take him home which is a little inconvenient. I don't like this show daddy, Cate says. It's almost over. I want to watch something else. We switch to Beauty and the Beast for awhile.

BS

my recording studio was across the lake from my house
i drove my speed boat to work everyday
whether i had anything to do or not
producing records is a lazy man's job
even if you work hard at it and
i did
do you mind if i smoke
i bought my first boat with money i made
working for charley rich
in the early seventies
i loved that boat
it was a hell of a time and
rich was a hell of a guy
a prick sometimes
but who isn’t and
man that boy could sing
like a male patsy cline
truthfully not that good but who can compete
with the best singer there ever was
i would have paid her to let me produce her record
i couldn’t have fucked it up
she turned owen bradley into a genius and
what else has he done
i'm kidding of course
it doesn't get any better than
coal miner's daughter
and his brother harold
was a really fine guitar player
is there anything to drink around here
waylon jennings changed the way country music was recorded
before waylon everybody used session musicians
it was easier back then
you knew what drugs to bring
all the players were old friends
they weren’t invested in the product
it was just a job
waylon learned how to record music from chet atkins
a master if there ever was
he hooked up with tompall glaser and
they recorded honky tonk heroes
in tompall’s studio
with waylon’s road band
ten billy joe shaver songs
fucked everything up
in a good way i guess but
i miss charley rich
all the money and girls
i still have the boat or a new one
some guitars a bunch of gold records
a grammy or two a grand piano
i still play once in awhile and
i get by on royalties and reputation
all the good ones are about half good
including myself
waylon’s a notch and a half above that
so just cause he can do it
doesn't mean that everyone else can and
that’s where i step in
tanya tucker called last week
and told me that she always appreciated the way
i arranged her songs
said that we should get together
back when she was fifteen i took her out on the lake
she’s older now more mature
but back then
she was a hell cat and
i was the best lion tamer in the world

Mid - Western Blues

it snowed
for two days
stopped
for a day
snowed for two more
then
it got cold

in a little white house
we smoked
drank
laughed
fought
waited it out
until the whiskey
was gone

i said
i’ll go get some more
and coffee
you said and cigarettes
and the mail
yeah i know

i walked
down a path
i discovered
years ago
into the woods
a shortcut to town
it took a long time
but i didn’t quit
until i saw a sign

closed

everything was closed

In The Woods

Sitting
On a log,

Watching
The dead river roll

Down
A bright green hill.

Monday Afternoon

While I lie on my couch listening to the Basement Tapes I look out my giant window at cars driving down twenty-eighth street.

My mother watches my daughter play with her dolls while she plays bridge on her computer ten blocks away.

Thirty miles north in an architect's office, my wife has a cup of coffee with her friend Lisa.

I turn the music off, pick up a guitar, pluck a few notes and sing a couple lines of a song I wrote a long time ago.

My mother turns her computer off and asks my daughter if she would like a waffle. Yes I would, my daughter says.

My wife sits at her desk and wonders if there is anything good on television tonight. She calls me on the phone and asks, what's going on?

Not Much. You tell me.

Moving West

My family moved to Arizona the year Marquette won the NCAA championship.

We watched the game on a little black and white television, in a trailer at the end of a dirt road between New River and Cave Creek.

After the game my dad went to the Tree House to celebrate.

My parents gave my brother and sister and I a canteen, a compass and a snakebite kit for Christmas, as if we would cross arroyos, and hike up foothills into caves to explore and identify different species of snakes and flowers and lizards.

After school and on weekends we gathered rocks for desert masonry walls, dug trenches and holes, stacked two by fours and bags of cement, and swept saw dust and nails off the floor.

We moved into our new house in July.

On weekends my father had tasks for my brother and I, usually they involved moving and re-stacking his pile of shit in the back yard.

When my brother had weed, it wasn't so bad.

After my father went somewhere (no one knew where), my mother cooked us breakfast while we sat in our room and listened to records.

Burning Love

We were having dinner on a raft in the middle of a little lake.
So your dad owns all this, I said.
Yeah, she said and sighed. His great grandfather bought it from an Indian tribe. I guess they were down on their luck. He bought it on the cheap and cut down all the trees. He left the ones around the lake. It’s a pretty spot don’t you think?
I looked up at the big dipper. Yeah it’s pretty, I said.
Are you the real thing? she asked.
I don’t know, it depends.
On what? she smiled
How high your standards are. My heart fibrillates sometimes.
Your heart fibrillates?
Sometimes.
It contracts and sputters?
Not that often. It’s no big deal.

My brother and I were driving to Montana to go fishing. My brother’s read about a hundred books about fly fishing. I don’t like to fish but didn’t have anything better to do, so I tagged along. My brother crushed an empty can of Budweiser and tossed it out the window. You shouldn’t litter, I said, and flipped my cigarette into the woods.

We ate diner in a bar in Fargo. Check out the rack on the bartender, my brother said. My brother is more social than I. He introduced me to her. She picked up our empties and sat down at the table. I didn’t know what to say. So I listened to my brother tell her about the second grade class, he teaches. Are you a teacher? She asked.
I laughed. I’m in sales.
What do you sell?
Micro chips.
Like for computers?
I shook my head, yes. My brother laughed.
What do you do around here for fun?
Go somewhere else. She said.

I told my brother I’d see him back in Manitowoc and ended up on the Iron Range with a girl I knew nothing about. I liked it that way. She had a pretty smile. I liked to listen to her talk. Unless she asked a question. But they all ask questions I guess. In the beginning of a relationship girls will believe anything you tell them. They want you to be better than they think you are. I’m a world class liar. Taught by a master. My father.

Where are you from? She asked.
We were in a motel between Fargo and somewhere else.
I grew up in Wisconsin.
I poured her a glass of Whiskey.
She took a sip and grimaced. Are you married?
I paused for a few seconds. Yeah... she lives in Tokyo.
Is she Japanese?
She’s a nurse. From Boston. I met her at Fort Bragg.
What is she doing in Japan?
I have no idea.

In the bar in Fargo, I asked my brother if he had any ones. He gave me two. I played Ring Of Fire on the jukebox.
She smiled. I love this song. Maybe it’s an omen.

Taos Box

The road ends

In a canyon
Next to a little cabin

I walked in the river
For a mile or so

Found her

Sitting on a rock wall

Next to a saguaro
With a puppy
She called Sarge

Sunset

Cold air
Dropped
Blew
North to south

Across

Rock
River
Dust

Mexico
Beyond

She smiled
Stood up said
Come on Sarge

Gone

I walked up the river
Got in my car

Drove home

Science Fiction

he gets out of the army a year after the last war starts - works for the red cross for awhile - sells drugs - builds a church and starts to build a hospital - re - ups - loves a nurse that helped save his life when he got gut shot - blood roared out of him like the blackfoot river - he feels like john wayne at the end of the sands of iwo jima - he sleeps - wakes up - a nurse smiles - he feels a little better - it’s a miracle you’re alive buster - he tries to smile - it’s no miracle ma’am - she walks away - he waits - thinks about his buddy stone - where is he - is he dead could he be that lucky - tubes invade his body - fluids drain out and flow in - he lies on his back and stares at a sign that reads : through these doors come the most deserving of men our patients

the nurse wakes him up - how are you this morning sergeant - i’m not in the army anymore - she smiles and points at a chart - it says here you are - do you have a cigarette - you can’t smoke in here - then get me out - it’s time to eat - great - are you a spook - he laughs - i’m a radio man seventy six whiskey do you know anything about a guy named stone canyon - is he the guy that brought you here - yeah - what do you want to know - where is he - back wherever you guys came from i guess - there is no where there - are you a spook - no i’m not - eat up - he smiles - yum yum

Graffito

Cate and I
Walked
To the park
And drew
A picture
Of Penny
(Her mother,
My wife)
On
The sidewalk
With
Colored chalk.

Unrequited

I sit in a room typing words about you. Do you care or would you if you knew. It doesn't matter I do what I do. Over and over I run it through my mind and write down what I saw. Does that make it true?

Sun Down In New River

Walking down the power line
With Jenny
She’s mad at me
We both could use a drink

Jenny
I say

She stops walking
Turns around
I sit on a rock

Come here
I ask

She lies down
Beside me

See it’s not so bad
I say and rub her stomach

While we watch the sunset

Behind Daisy Mountain

Rhythm Room

Thank God for loud Les Paul's.
Tuesday night.
Orange
Dark,
Gray and
Purple light.

Middle - aged dancing girls.

Songs about
Hard
Stupid,

Bad men on the lam.
Pissing into a dam.
Going to Cheyenne

In a stolen blue Fire - Bird.

Blasting Smoke on the Water,
A long damn time ago.

I met my match
In a bar just like this,

She said,
Quit fucking around and take me home.