Fair Enough

my father always said
if you’re careful
you can get away with anything
he’s about three quarters right
if you don’t know how to improvise
something or somebody
will get you
like they got crazy horse
i bet he was careful
sometimes it doesn’t matter

you only get what you deserve
when you deserve something bad

i was playing golf with my wife

she kept missing the ball
then she started yelling
at the guys playing behind us
after one of their balls
rolled to a stop twenty yards
behind her
i was on the green waiting
honey i said just chip the ball up here the ball wasn’t going to hit you
who’s side are you on
yours i tried not to laugh failed said
but you’re ruining my life
what
you’re ruining my fucking life
than we're even cause you already ruined mine

Country Western

i was waiting for nancy
holed up in my brother in law jack’s trailer in barstow
she was in phoenix scoring drugs
i had a plan that if properly executed
could secure for us enough money
to hide out like nobles in mexico
for the rest of our lives
it was risky but worth the stretch
i met nancy in tucson a year before i was imprisoned
for selling methamphetamine to a narc
i was bar tending
she was the prettiest barfly that ever fell for me
for awhile we lived like the king and queen of the cesspool and it was fun but the state of nevada put a stop to it
i hold no grudge
they were supposed to be looking for guys like me to punish
anyway i broke out and nancy dumped me here
she doesn’t want me anywhere near the kind of people i’d run into in Phoenix
she’s all for my profession she just thinks i should do it right
i didn’t want to go anyway that town always kicks the shit out of me and i’d just as soon never set foot there again
the problem was six dollars five dimes of crack three volumes and
trying to decide the best order to ingest them and get the biggest bang
that was all that nancy had on her when she picked me up
it takes pretty long to drive from barstow to phoenix and back and she’ll probably spend a night at my sister's house

someone knocked on the door
i ignored it for awhile but the knocking didn’t stop
So i opened the door
is jack here a weird looking little dude asked
no i said
where is he the guy asked
i don’t know
don’t lie to me
fuck you
that prick owes me ten dollars
as i just said he isn’t here
you have any money
no i don’t
bullshit i bet you have money and that prick jack is in there partying like there’s no tomorrow
yeah you’re either going to leave or i’m going to kick your ass
in your dreams dick head tell jack he’s a faggot
i shut the door and stood by the window and watched him slowly walk down a dirt road until he disappeared around a bend
it won’t matter what order i go through this shit won’t be near enough
i thought and laughed

At The Place Of Spearing Fish And Eels

At the base of a hill
Under a tree
Beside a frozen creek
We leaned on a rock

It’s so cold, she said.
I agreed.
I lit her cigarette,
We have to get out of here, I said.
I raised my head over a bluff,
It was snowing and the wind was blowing
Hard from west to east.
I couldn’t see ten feet.
What do you think, she asked.
I think we’re fucked.
Great.
How many cigarettes do we have left?
Two.
I have to walk out of here and get help.
You’re an idiot.
Fair enough, but I’m not going to just sit here and
Freeze to death without cigarettes.
You’ll leave that to me.
I’ll build you a fire.

I couldn’t build her a fire
With wet wood.
I walked for a long time.
Found a house over a hill.
The snow let up.
The guy in the house had a snowmobile.
We set right out to find her and did
Right where I left her.
She was almost dead.
We took her to a hospital.
It goes with out saying, I said.
Shut up.
They had to cut off two of her toes.
I never saw her again.

Road To No Town

I’m a long gone
goner
like dodge ball
in school
If you aren't throwing
the ball
you already lost

A matter of time

Everyone loses until
everyone loses

Unless you catch the ball

My hands were tied
behind my back
A shotgun was taped
to tape wrapped
around my face
covering my eyes
ears and nose

Where are we going
I asked

Shut up
or I’ll tape your mouth
then you won’t be able
to breathe

A road to no town
Nancy said

What did I just tell him

Nancy is my girlfriend
She’s a nurse
from Ireland
We met in Tel Aviv
She’s a tough girl
Tougher than me

Fuck you
Nancy said

How about I blow your head off bitch

Nancy
I said

Someone hit me
with something cold and hard
again
again

You’re hurting him
Nancy said

No shit
Shut up
I’m not saying it again

Honky Tonkin'

When my wife started making better records than me
With my band
I knew it was time to quit dopin’
But that only made it worse

I started wondering
If what made me great
Was being able to stay up
All night catching songs

It didn’t hurt

I quit
In Paradise Valley
Took walks
Left a couple ounces in the bus

Just in case

I still miss
The card games
The guys in the band
All the songs

You have to be awake to notice
I’m sleeping good and I’m
Pretty content
But I ain't
Great anymore

I miss that

Ramblin' Man

A man can be a dog
A dog can not be a man
That’s evolution
Nothing Jesus Fucking Christ
Can do about that
Anyway that’s how I can be a dog
And talk to you
Like I am

A cab is as good as any place to meet girls
Trust me or don’t
I’ve met my share
Drunk
Pretty
Vulnerable
Talkative stupid girls
Like the Stones song
Nonetheless I have to be careful
If they aren’t untraceable
I just drive them home
But sometimes
One walks out of a bar
Stumbles
As I slide by
Asks how much
Free I say
Her smile
Lights up a burnt out street lamp

My favorite though
Just walked up to my cave
On the Wisconsin River
Knocked on my door
It was cold
I had a fire going
You might wonder
What she was doing out there
Well I don’t know
Or care
Maybe she was a ghost
It doesn’t mater
I guess she was lost
She isn’t lost anymore

Deep Hole

You can dig a hole deep

I’ve dug my share
My father taught me
He’s a master
It’s about being efficient
Like every thing else
So I dig my grave
Like a trench for my father
Or eight dollars an hour

On a rainy afternoon

No Shit

I was sitting on the steps, outside the parachute packing shack at Fort Benning, smoking a cigarette.
Sergeant Dewberry walked outside and asked if I had a light.
I tossed him my lighter.
He lit his cigarette and tossed it back.
“Nice day,” he said.
I agreed.
“You don’t get it Johnson,” he said.
"What?” I asked.
“If you can’t make it in the Army you can’t make it anywhere,” he said.

Israel

My mother told me not to go to Israel.

We needed the money.
For heat. My little sister’s heart fibrillates.
I can’t do anything about that, but she can be warm.
They only bring Russians to Israel to do jobs that Arabs won’t do.
Dirty jobs. I work in a bar in Tel Aviv.
My friend Nina will do anything for money.
So when someone asks me to do something disgusting
Like masturbate on my face, I send them to her.
She had a nervous breakdown last week.
Men in the Middle East are primitive and stupid.
They treat women like dogs. Worse than dogs.
I hope the Jews and Arabs kill each other. Until no one’s left.
In three months I will get my passport back.
I will take my American money home. To the Ukraine.
I will meet a nice boy and have a family. Forget I ever came here.
I met a Jewish boy at work.
He came back another night and told me that he thinks about me all the time.
I Said, no you don’t. Why would you do that? He gave me a present.
“A lighter for your cigarettes,” he said. I didn’t want his present.
“Thank you,” I said, and put it back in it’s box. He looked sad and confused.
I smiled, “come on,” I said. I took him in the back and jerked him off.
It took five strokes. He was sweet. But I am not sweet anymore.
If I ever was. I can not remember.
The Jewish boy worked for my friend Mike in his bar in Jerusalem.
Mike is an ex American soldier. He fought In the Gulf War.
I think he misses it.
Mike lets me stay in his apartment with the Jewish boy who says he loves me all the time.
I was high on opium and dropped a bottle of wine.
The bottle shattered on Mike’s beautiful wood floor.
The Jewish boy cleaned it up and carried me to bed.
He set me down and said, “you shouldn’t drink so much.”
“Yes I should,” I said and closed my eyes.
“What’s it like in Russia?” The Jewish boy asked.
“You wouldn’t like it.

Unless you like waiting in a long line for no bread.”

(Based on the movie Holy Land)

Little Big Things

when you love a man
you always
keep
his favorite whiskey
in the cabinet
even if
he drinks too much
that’s what
love's about
if he has
a bad temper
he probably has
a cute butt
a nice smile or
a great sense
of humor
love is just
a mutual desire
to commit
fault
be damned
nobody's perfect
or even close
truth
be told
most men
are not worth
a fuck
but that’s
not the point
maybe the truth is
they’re boys
and they need us
sometimes
and we
need them
like grass
needs rain
but not too much
you don’t want
a flood
messing up
everything
again

King Buzzo Said

king buzzo said
cuz i can ford a red eed only street a wide a ree land

last night
i drank a quart of tequila and crapped the bed
this morning
my wife said
tonight you’re wearing underwear
that’s a reasonable request

king buzzo isn’t a bad guy
my wife thinks he’s evil
but what does she know
however i know
when i finish this twelve pack i’m working on
she’ll be pissed and i’ll be wrong

i’ll leave you with this
pill pop a dope a well run general hash pump a gonna led

Dutch

I read in a book
Ronald Reagan
saved over a hundred lives
while he was a lifeguard
at Rock River
in Lowell Park Illinois
He probably should have stayed
in that small town
He would have made a fair sheriff
He wasn’t much of an actor

No Duke.
Or Gary Cooper.

Vicksburg

my dad won an award
for taking a picture
of a one-eyed dog
eating a loaf of bread
in chechnya
in the background
a burning man
is running away from a tank
my mother found me
looking at the picture
she took it away
and said
go brush your teeth
it’s time for bed
mom hates the picture
my mom met my dad
when she was in law school
mom told me
she fell for him
while his band
the philistines played
loving her is easier
than anything i’ll ever do again
in a bar in
vicksburg mississippi
that’s where my mom was born
dad’s a great
steel guitarist
he was in mississippi
writing a book
about ulysses s. grant
he never finished it
it’s pretty good
i read it when i was ten
i think my mom
loves my dad
more than he loves her
i talked to my dad
on the phone last week
i asked him what happened
to the dog in the picture
he said i’m not sure bud
i was in kind of a hurry
i hope he’s okay i said
me too kid
my dad hasn’t been home
in two years
mom says
he’s gone native

Saturday Night or Sunday Morning

You can throw a better bone
I said

Poured a drink

You want a glass
I asked

She nodded

It's getting late
She said

Radio
Softly
playing

I Saw The Light

Clouds

Rolling in

It's going to rain
She said

Yes it will

What A Great Country

my favorite football player
is brett favre
he played almost a whole season
with a broken thumb
and he’s never missed a game
in his life
not even one
he’s almost as tough as pat tillman
he was a football player
and an army ranger
my grandpa was a paratrooper
he died in vietnam
when pat tillman got killed
in afghanistan
my mom cried
and she doesn’t even like football
that much
my dad didn’t cry
but he was sad and said
that guy was a stud
and he sure was
when i grow up
i’m going to play football
and i will be someone's favorite player
someday
that’s what i pray for

Zevon

Steve Earle
said
He would
stand on a table
in his cowboy boots
and tell
Bob Dylan

Townes Van Zandt
is the greatest
songwriter
that ever lived

I imagine
Bob Dylan
would say
You’re entitled
to your opinion
I like Townes too

Now would you
get your fat ass
off my table

Playing Golf

A big dog is a horse,

My brother says
and hits a golf ball
into the woods.

Did you see where that went?

Yeah It’s not that bad.

Good cause I haven’t made a par in thirty six holes.

Straight Lines and Circles

A poem about my father
should begin
with goddammit you little Bastard
or black steel beams
exploding
off Camelback Mountain
at dawn in the desert
my father said
the hole isn’t going to dig itself Doc

A poem about my father
should include
the wind off
Lake Michigan
my mother
a game of tennis
a bottle of scotch
a truck and a skill saw
a straight line
a circle
a sky light
a cement mixer
a hook shot in Cave Creek
Sconfinato
my brother and sister
a party in Wauwatosa
Suzanne and Julia
Catlin running away
to heaven
or a swamp
on the side of the road
next to an old barn
in Germantown
My father said
You’re talking like a man
with a paper asshole


A poem about my father
should close
with a cigarette
after a long day
standing over
a drawing board
in the basement

Dark As A Dungeon

I like songs about ships
Sailing and sinking, spilling
Their guts on the great lakes and oceans

Of the world.

I like songs about railroads and Coo Coo Birds.

The songs I like best though are
Songs about

Coal miners

Digging deep, sweating, dying

Down there

For cheap fuel.

Jump School

Napoleon said
the moral
is to the physical
as three is to one
and I promise

two of you dilettantes
will quit
before this hour
is up
You can count on that
Or the hour
will go on forever
I have
all fuckin’ day
You yardbirds
don’t stand a chance

Give me a hundred push-ups
If you can’t do a hundred

just lie
in the mud
like a fag

until I tell you
to get up

Sam Shephard in
Fool For Love
said the point is
it’s pointless
What do you debs
think
about that

I think he’s a lucky bastard

Germantown

we got to get those cocksuckers
my best friend chucky said
we were hiding in the woods
with chucky's dog pal
chucky's mom ran pal over
and they had to sew his eye shut
he looks kind of funny
but he doesn’t seem to mind
chucky told me
that dogs can’t see for shit anyway
what does cocksucker mean - i thought
we were out numbered and
our enemies had bb guns
and all we had were slingshots
we have to circle around - i said
what chucky asked
chucky's a year older than me
so he’s used to giving the orders
but this was important
and chucky's not as smart as i am
we have to get ahead of them
and cut them off at killer hill
that’s a good idea - chucky said -
hit those chickenshits-
when they’re half way up
come on pal - we’re going hunting
we have to be real quiet - i said
chucky smiled - i’ll be quiet as an injun

chucky hit kevin in the face
kevin dropped his bb gun - fell
and rolled down the hill
i hit wayne on the shoulder
he yelled shit - knelt down
and crawled for cover
jimmy and tom hid in the trees
we took a couple more shots
lets go - i said and we ran as fast as we could
but they didn’t chase us
when we got to the corn field we stopped running
did you see kevin - chucky asked
yeah that was a great shot
it sure was do you think he’s bleeding
there’s a good chance
i hope he bleeds to death
what’s cocksucker mean - i asked
girls are cocksuckers - chucky said

Frozen Songs

My father freezes music
On the side of purple mountains

He sends me pictures

A hawk flies over steel and glass
Folk songs and jazz standards

A song dog sings
Why Must I cry

Outside

Jackson Mississippi

My father and I stop
Take a piss
Pass a bottle
Get back in the truck

Drive to Baton Rouge

Eufaula

how can you be so stupid
she asked
they stood
under a bridge
in Eufaula
the sun set
it’s not that hard
he replied
they watched their boat sink
he smiled
come on baby lets go watch the fireworks

Allegory

I bought a dog from an Indian
in the parking lot of a bar
My wife said, “we can’t keep her”
I asked for a divorce
things weren’t working out anyway
the dog ran off
I am listening to Linda Ronstadt
sing I’m So Lonesome I Could Cry
I could, oh well
I traded my wife for a dog that ran away
I got what I deserve