11.04.2010

True Or False

My wife told me the other night that I am without stress and I am uncomplicated. It's kind of a compliment, she said.

For the past month I have abstained from smoking pot because I had to take a piss test at work.

About an hour ago I chased a girl out of Walmart and grabbed her by the waist before she jumped into a car because she owed me a hundred dollars for driving her across town in my cab to score some dope.

I settled for half the fare.

A cop told me after I told him what happened that I have no right to touch a client who doesn't pay me. What am I supposed to do? I asked. Don't get yourself in the situation, he said.

If I had a dollar for every time someone sat in the backseat and asked what is the most interesting thing that happened to you tonight? I could take the week off.

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