My Girls

for most of my life
love was fiction
intellectual
never emotional
seen
never felt
longed for
never dreamt
maybe it was just safer
to feel sorry for myself
instead of jumping in
I never really liked to swim

but then

my dad met a mountain girl
in a bar
he introduced me to her in another bar
I took her to another bar
she ordered a dark beer
we talked
I don't remember about what
she doesn't care for nonsense
that's my stock
I must have talked about something semi-substantial
cause she wanted to see me again
a semi-miracle
a couple nights later she was pregnant
thankfully it didn't take
because a couple months later
we made a desert girl
she's a circle
always playful
not an old soul
like her dad
a real kid
her mother loves her so much
I think it scares her
I'm scared too
but now I trust luck
too good to be true
but true it is

Talking About Dog Shit

sitting in a bar talking to a friend about baseball
or was it football
I can't remember it was along time ago
or maybe yesterday
the moon was half full
the walk home was going to be cold
Barry Bonds is the best hitter I've ever seen I said
he's a cheater my friend said
I think it was Kurt
it might have been Billy
or maybe I said Steve McNair is tougher than dog shit
how tough is dog shit my friend asked
pretty fucking tough I said
if it's as tough as Steve McNair

A Room Full Of Records And Books

he was a drinking man with a guitar problem

is the first line of great song I wish I wrote
I can't even steal the line
trust me I have tried

women don't understand

how something can be priceless and worthless at the same time

like a great line

a room full of records and books

a shiny blue Mexican-made guitar

magazine pictures and sketches hanging on the wall

a bag of dope that looks bigger than it is or is bigger than it looks
I am not sure which

a naked lady dancing in the hall
it doesn't matter if it's a dream
or only happened once a long time ago

some things can almost chase the blues away

women don't understand
it ain't free
and it's probably a good thing they don't

 

Falling Flying Fucked Up And Chasing After Nothing

when you're falling
it doesn't matter how far
it's relative
the longer you fall
the longer it takes to hit the ground

when you're flying
it doesn't matter
what you took to get up there
you are going to hit the ground
sooner or later
so enjoy it

when you're fucking up
it doesn't matter
how you arrived there
it's pretty easy
I've been doing it all my life
don't sweat it
everyone does it all the time
whether or not they admit it

when you're chasing something
it doesn't matter
if you catch it
eventually you will lose it
like everything else
it's a matter of time
don't try so hard man
it's probably irrelevant

Never Enough

when I throw the junk away
will it be enough

I used to dream about a castle
the castle is a metaphor

the hard part is remembering
how it used to be
and could be again
if I could turn back the clock

when I throw the junk away
will it be enough
or just a fraction
of all I should throw away but can't
or won't
I have thrown away a lot
it was never enough

Two AM

falling
waiting
hold the rush
as long as you can
brown said
grinned
like a football
I thought
pretend it's a game
do your best
the ground looks like a lake
there's a river down there
I've been told
I can almost see some trees
when I do
it will be too late
wait
wait
wait
until
it's almost to late
anticipate
or become a floating
great big
fucking
duck
count
103
4 5 6
rip
hit
like a ton of bricks
if you're lucky
find the river
follow it
to a draw
dig a hole
light a cigarette
take a long drag
wait
wait
pretend
it's a game
of cowboys and Indians
think
think
think

Wasted Words

the words flow like shit
down an already dirty river
I ask for forgiveness
wasting so much time
creating
timeless crap
timeless crap
is crap nonetheless
and it's only timeless
because it has no place to go
so it flows
and you know where it goes
I watch it from my car
listening to the radio
is getting old
and so am I
so are you
everyone gets old if they're lucky
that sucks
so throw a line in the water
or go play golf
or take a nap
or watch a movie
it won't matter
unless you think you have something
to do or say that will make a difference
it probably won't
and you are probably
a dick for thinking it will