Every now and then l know it’s kinda hard to tell but lm still alive and well

A Little Grace Goes Along Way

Maria stood under an awning in front of the lobby of the Ritz Carlton talking to the bell hop.
Mac sat at a makeshift desk cleaning weed listening to The Golden Palominos. He received a message stuffed a pipe, took three hits, turned off the sterio, shuffled the weed on the desk into a bag and walked outside and jumped in a cab.
"Cab 1819," Mac said.
Mac lit a cigarette, waited for his pager to beeb. It went off, he read "Ritz Carlton 2401 E Camelback see bellhop."
He smiled, promising he thought, drove a half mile pulled into the parking lot, saw a girl making hand jesters to a man wearing a funny looking uniform. Mac rolled down the window,"did you call a cab," he asked and turned up the heater. The guy in the funny looking uniform pointed at the girl. "For her," he said.
"You called me a cab," she said and stumbled."I thought we were going to party."
She's pretty good looking or really good looking, Mac thought. "How drunk is she?" Mac asked.
"Really drunk," the girl said and laughed.
"And then some," the guy in the uniform said.
"You're coming home with me,"she said and grabbed his arm. She tried to drag him toward the cab. He escaped. "I have to work."
Mac laughed. "Where you headed?" He asked.
She pointed south east. "Over there."
The man in uniform leaned into the window. "Please get her out of here."
"If she wants to go and can tell me where she lives I'll take her."
"I told you where I live," she said, walked to the door and opened it. "Can I sit up here?" She sat in the car.
"I need something more specific than a general direction."
She smiled. "Of coarse you do. Let's move. This place let me down."
"Sorry to hear that. Over there," Mac said, and pointed south east.
She laughed. "Percisislly."
Mac turned the car around and headed south east.
"What time is it?"
"One thirty."
"They kicked me out of the bar. I was the only one in there and they kicked me out. They wouldn't put my drink in a to go glass.?
Mac laughed. It turned into a grin.
"You have a pretty smile. It isn't funny. They even kicked me out of the lobby. I didn't even want to be there. My friends met some boys from Colorado, I think and left me. I'm OK with that. I can take care of myself."
"I bet you can."
"I can. Turn left."
He turned left.
"Next right."
A couple turns latter they pulled up to a small red brick apartment.
"Mi casa."
"Nice place."
"It's not."
"It looks OK from here."
"Looks can be deceiving."
"True."
"What do I owe you Mac?"
"How you know my name?"
"Your name is Mac. I meant Mac like in would you like a drink Mac or hey Mac or how much do I owe you Mac?"
"Five bucks."
She handed him a twenty. "Keep it."
"Thanks a lot."
"I hope my friends are alright."
"They probably are."
"That's a bold statement Mac," she said and laughed. You never said if you would like a drink."
"Yeah. Why not?"
"I have half a bottle of vodka in my freezer."
"Sounds good."
"Absolute. A lot of people prefer Kettle One or Grey Goose. I do not."
"I don't either."
She smiled. "Come on."
Mac couldn't decide whether her face was pretty or cute. She wore cowgirl jeans that flattered her damn near perfect ass, a well made white blouse, hair short and well styled, nose damn near as perfect as her ass, brown eyes that looked sad even when she was laughing or smiling. He decided both. He followed her into a room. A giant TV dominated the space, dwarfing a couch and a chair placed to close to the TV and a small table covered with magazines an ashtray ashes and an assortment of garbage. She walked in without unlocking the door. "Excuse the mess. I clean on Saturday. Guys only care about the TV right. It's one of the biggest ones they make." She turned it on, walked into the kitchen. Mac sat down. She came back with two milk glasses three quarters full of Vodka and handed one to Mac. "Thanks."
"Your welcome."
She sat next to him, picked up the remote, found a station advertising a kitchen knife, took a drink and set her glass on the couch. "Take off your jacket and stay awhile."
"You should lock your door."
"I lose my keys alot. Sometimes I forget to leave the window open."
Mac took his jacket off, folded it and laid it on the couch. Maria moved and knocked her glass over. Mac picked up his jacket to late. Maria went into the kitchen and came back with a glass a little more full than the last. "I have to be more careful. This is it. No more." She cleared a spot on the table and placed her glass on it and laid down on the couch, her feet aginst Mac's leg. "Sorry about your jacket. How bad did I get it?"
"Pretty bad. Not to bad," Mac said and laughed.
"What do you do?"
"What you mean?"
"What do you do for a living?"
"I'm a cab driver, your cab driver."
"You don't seem like one. Drink up. I'll be right back."
Mac learned quite a bit about the best designed kitchen knife in the history of the world while he wondered how long he should sit around pretending to drink vodka. Maria appeared from the hall bottomless, hid behind the chair and peeked over the top. Mac smiled and waved. She ran down the hall. He followed her. She ran out of road and knelt against a door. She turned her back to him, turned her head. "Who are you?" She asked.
"You know who I am."
"What's your name?"
"You know my name. Mac if you forgot. I don't know your's."
"Maria," she said stood up walked past him, laid on the couch, placed both hands over her crotch and smiled. "Do you like what you see?"
"Very much. Very much. About the best thing I've ever seen."
"No lie?"
"Swear to God."
No bullshit, he thought.

scoence

I don't know what I'm doing, I'm being paid so I plod along. I am following a women. I receive money every week in the mail. I have been following her for a month according to a notebook I carry.
I vaugly remember two weeks ago. Everyday after is clearer. I recollect yesterday like it was yesterday. I can't be sure about yesterday though due to my condition. It plays like a movie I haven't seen yet but know what will happen even though thoreitically it already has.
The book From Here To Eternity sits on a table beside my bed. There is a book mark on page 202. A set of car keys was sitting next to the book, at least they were two weeks ago. Inside the car I found a notebook with a diary. I traced the diary back two weeks and drove to a house and parked down the block. I think I took a walk behind the house. According to the notebook I carry binoculars and a pretty nice camera and climb a tree that gives me a great view of and in some spots into the girls house. She is small and pretty. Her house is imuculate according to what I see from the tree and wrote in the notebook.
The first day I remember following her she never left the house. I sat in the tree for an hour, walked back to the car and watched the house until about eleven PM and drove back to my apartment and wrote. She never left the house. I opened From Here To Eternity and read a few chapters while I drank from a bottle of whisky I found in the kitchen.
One night at about nine PM she left her house,drove to a hotel and had a drink with a woman. I followed them to an elevator. About fifteen minutes latter she walked through the lobby got in her car and drove outside the city to a semi mansion. She went inside and came out five minutes latter and drove home. She had a key or the door wasn't locked. What was that about? I wrote in my notebook.
About a week ago she went to a mall. I followed her from store to store. She left the mall with about five bags. I followed her home. Her bakyard is secluded. I climbed the tree and watched her fix a drink. She turned on a television. She finished the drink and went into a room I couldn't see, came out wearing one of her new outfits I presumed. She poured another drink made a phone call and vanished again. She appeared in another outfit finished her drink and turned the television back on. I watched her drink and watch TV for about an hour and went back to my car for a couple more hours and waited to see if she would go out. She didn't. I drove home, read for awhile,fell asleep and woke up hungover. My bottle of whisky was embty. I wrote in my notebooket get a bottle of whisky.
Yesterday I was having breakfast at a dinner I stop at every morning and a tall guy walked up to my table and asked, "are you still driving a taxi?"
"I'm not," I said.
"I called you about a ride about two months ago and you didn't answer," he said.
"Sorry."
"See you around."
I wrote cab driver? In my notebook. Not that it matters I thought.
While I was watching the house I revived a call from a guy named Barry who said he was in town and wanted to get together. I told him I was pretty free all the time and we decided to meet latter that night. I checked the contacts on my phone and there wasn't a Barry. I decided to meet him regardless. Nothing was happening at the house anyway. To be honest I wasn't and aren't sure I want to know what I forgot. It is kind of nice having a blank slate or at least one that only goes back two weeks. Before I left to meet Barry, she walked outside and walked around her front yard, stopped and looked in my direction. She couldn't see my car. I got out of the car and walked toward her. I didn't know what I was going to do or why I was doing it. When I was Parallel her driveway, she said, "sir, could you help me put a box in my trunk? I can't lift it."
"I would be glade too," I said and followed her into her house.
I came too on the floor in a hall. She was sitting on a chair casually holding a gun. "Why are you following me?"
My head hurt. I felt blood.
"You'll be fine."
"What did you hit me with?"
She kicked a tire iron across the floor in my direction.
"Why are you following me?"
"I'm being paid too."
"Who's paying you?"
"I'm not sure."
She stood up. "Sit in the chair. If you do anything I will shoot you," she said pointed the gun at me for an instant and smiled. She has a nice smile, I thought. I sat. "What do you mean you're not sure?"
"I don't know. I get an envolope in my mailbox with cash every monday."
She laughed. "I know who it is."
"Are you laughing cause it's funny or ironically cause you're pissed."
"You don't remember me?" She asked.
"I don't remember anyone or anything."
"That's farfetched."
"Maybe."
"Are you curious about how I figured out you were following me?"
"Not really. I do wonder if you saw my car when you walked outside?"
"I didn't."
"What were you doing outside?"
"I was looking to see if any of my niehbores was out in their yard and could help me put a box in my car."
"And it was just dumb luck that the guy who who's following you walked up?"
"Pretty wild huh?"
"I don't buy it."
"I could care less. You work for me now."
"I have to be somewhere in about an hour."
She laughed. "Your first job is to put a box in my car."
"I guess I don't have a choice."
"Follow me."
I followed her into an empty room except for a box. I went to pick it up. It was heavier than I thought. "What you got in there?" I asked.
"The prick paying you to follow me."
I laughed. "Bullshit."
"Believe what you want."
I placed the heavy box in her trunk. She told me to make my meeting and come back after. "How do you know I will?"
"You will. What else do you have to do?"
I met Barry in a bar. He was drinking a beer. I was forty five minutes late. He said he didn't mind. I ordered a whiskey on the rocks. He asked me if I heard about Beth? I told him I hadn't . He laughed. "You were in love with her."
"I was?"
"Her fourth husband shot up a grocery store and killed six people. He was an ex ranger. She always fell for the super solider lifers. This one was crazy. She shoulda settled for you."
"Sounds like she would have divorced me."
Barry laughed. "I'm still with Kim. Can you believe that."
I could. "How's Kim?"
"Fat as a fuckin' house."
I took a sip of my drink and watched a player hit a double on TV.
"I ran into Steve about six months ago. He's still with Trish. Weren't you in love with her too.?"
"I love em all I guess."
"He asked about you. I said I hadn't seen you in thirty years just like him and than a couple days latter I find you on face book. Trish was with him. She asked about you before he did while he was taking a piss." Barry Laughed. "Maybe you should look her up. Steve's as bald as me and Trish looks pretty good."
I took another sip and watched a guy drive the guy who doubled in.
"So what the hell you been up to CJ?"
"I'm a private detective of sorts."
"No shit."
"No shit."
"You know where to get any blow?"
"I don't."
"I figured you would."
"Sorry man."
"How about girls?"
"Girls?"
"Yeah girls."
"There's a whore house on 32nd Street."
"I knew you would be worth getting together with," Barry said, slapped my back and laughed. "Let's get the fuck outa here."
I drove him to the whore house and waited in the front room. A dog walked into the room and laid at my feet. I listened to a guy and a girl argue over a television. I thought why does she want me to stop by her house. Does she have a real reason or is she messing with me. I decided it doesn't matter and that I want to and I might be falling for her. I guess I fall for them all if Barry is to be believed. I laughed. The dog looked at me. I patted his head.
I gave Barry a ride to his hotel. On the way I learned that we were Paratroopers stationed at Fort Benning about thirty years ago. Beth was a Sargeant and Trish and Steve were also in our Company. Barry and I smoked a lot of dope and drank a lot and were always in trouble. Steve was a pussy, Beth was Kim's best friend and led me on and I fell for it. He also told me Ackerman was a narc and Rick was a crazy son of a bitch and a guy named Jack almost killed me cause I was fucking his wife Teri. Apparently he hit me on the back of my head with a shovel at a party. "That was a crazy fuckin' night," he said.
"Yeah I guess it was."
"Pick me up at seven tomarrow night we have some serious drinking to do."
"I'll try."
"What the fuck you mean I'll try."
"I mean I'll try. I might be busy."
"What hell's wrong with you. Meet me in the bar at seven. Don't be late this time."
"If I can I will." I truly want to hear more of the story of my life thirty years ago, I thought talking to Barry is like reading my autobiography.
"You have too. Otherwise I'll get drunk in the hotel bar and be bored as shit."
"I'll do my best. Tonight was interesting."
"Tomarrow night will be better."
I drove back to her house. All the lights were off, I wondered if I should knock on the door or go home or leave a note and drive home. I saw a flash, she said, "how'd it go?"
She was sitting on a lawn chair smoking. "FIne," I said.
"Who did you meet?"
"An Army buddy. Do you have another one of those?"
She handed me a cigarette. "Do you need a light too."
"I do."
She handed me a lighter.
"Do you mind?" I asked, pointing at a chair next to her.
"Be my guest."
"So you don't know who hired you to follow me?"
"I don't."
"What have you assertained?"
"Not much."
"And he's satisfied?"
"I guess."
"What have you told him?"
"I tell him or write on a paper and send to him what I observe."
"What have you observed?"
"Not much. I followed you to a hotel and than to a house a few nights ago give or take."
She smiled and laughed.
"Keep up the good work. I'll see you tomarrow."
She stood up flicked her cigarette in the street and went inside. I assumed she wanted me to continue following her or at least to act like I am. I liked the idea because I could continue collecting a check without the pressure of being found out since I already was. I did wonder what her aim is but figured I would know soon enough or not and at some point the shit would hit the fan one way or another and when it did I would have to adjust.
I went home, drank some whiskey and read until I fell assleep. In a dream I stood beside a river and watched people climb a small tree and dive into the shallow river. Someone asked me to join them. I declined. A girl walked up and asked me for a smoke. "I'll trade you," she said and handed me a beer. She looked at the guys gathered around the tree and said,"idiots."
"Where you been," I asked.
"I gave Kim and Barry a ride back to my house. I thought that wouldn't last." She laughed. "What do I know."
"Barry's smitten."
"So is Kim."
We both laughed.
"Isn't the water cold?" She asked.
"Ice cold."
"Idiots."
"Where's Wayne?"
"He has CQ. One of those morons is going to breack his neck."
"And than it won't be funny anymore."
"Knock that shit off," she yelled.
"You're not their Sargeant out here."
"Some of them look like they are in high school. Where did they come from."
"Beats me. Let's get out of here."
"And go where?"
"Your house."
"That would not be appropriate."
"How bout D Fords?"
"We could do that. One of you morons is going to breack your neck," she yelled.
"You're not our mother Beth," someone yelled.
"Shut the fuck up Brown," Beth yelled.
I laughed. We walked to her car. "You should tell Sargeant Wilson you want to go to Fort Hood next month. I need a packer. It could be fun. You ever been to Juarez?"
We went to D Fords and drank to much, I woke up looked at a clock and felt like shit.
The next morning at the dinner the waitress said, "you look rough."
"I had a weird dream."
"What will you have?"
I ordered and ate a big breakfast and drove to her house and parked in my usual spot. I watched the house, fell assleep, woke up, went into her backyard and climbed a tree. I watched her sit on her sofa and read for awhile. She walked outside, noticed me and asked, "What are you doing?"
"The best way to appear to be doing something is doing it."
"What if I was masterbating?"
I laughed. "I wish you were."
"Get down."
I de treed.
"You look like shit."
"I had a strange dream."
"What was strange about it?"
"I think it acctully happened."
"What's strange about that?"
"Maybe strange isn't the right word."
"What word is?"
"I don't know. I drank a lot. Maybe I'm making more out of it than is really there."
"You probably are."
"Probably."
"You want to get high?"
"Why not."
We smoked some weed, did a few lines of coke and watched a Jenifer Lopez movie.
"That was stupid," she said.
"I like Jenifer Lopez."
We did another line. "I should go back to my car and act like I'm working.
She laughed. "You think someone is watching you watch me?"
"You never know."
"Wouldn't your cover be blown already?"
"That's a fair point."
"Do whatever you want."
"I'd rather stay here."
"Be my guest. I'm taking a shower."
I was sitting in a motel room drinking Jack Daniels out of the bottle watching a baseball game. Someone knocked. I opened the door. A pretty girl smiled. "You look like someone kicked your ass," she said and laughed. "I have about four hours. Pour me a drink." I found a plastic glass in the bathroom and poured whiskey in it and handed it to her. "Get some ice and a coke. I can't drink this." I killed the glass and found the ice machine and a soda machine. I poured her a drink. "That's better. How long have you been here?"
"A while. I'm not sure. Pretty long I think."
"You're a mess." She smiled. "I missed you."
"I missed you too."
"Who's playing?"
"What?"
She pointed at the TV. "Who's playing.
"Oh, I'm not sure. Do you like baseball?"
"It's OK. Not really."
"We can watch something else."
"It's fine." She took off her shoes and laid on the bed. I grabbed the bottle and laid beside her.
"I think Jack is getting suspicious,"she said.
"Based on what?"
"A feeling."
"Do you want to cool it?"
"No."
"Are you sure?"
She smiled. "Yes I'm sure CJ."
"I don't want to cause you trouble."
"That's sweet CJ. I can handle it. Are you scared."
Kind of, I thought. Jack would have the advantage of righteous anger. "A feeling," I said.
I woke up. She was sitting next to me reading. "You were out cold."
"What time is it?"
She picked up her phone. "Six fifteen."
"Fuck. I'm going to be late if I don't get my shit together."
I asked her if she would sell me some coke. She filled up a vile from a large bag and tossed it to me. She wouldn't take my money. She said it grows on trees and laughed. I thanked her and went to meet Barry. I was fifteen minutes late. He was talking to a unattractive girl,didn't mind that I was tardy and was thrilled when I showed him the coke. The three of us went up to his room and did a couple lines. I asked what he wanted to do, he said he wanted Sherry to give him a blow job. I thought he has the sex drive of a much younger man if he needed a blow job from the unattractive girl before we had a chance to strike out although one in the pot is sometimes better than two in the Forrest. I told him I would meet him in the bar.

Black And White And Colors

When I was a kid
I saw everything in black and white
And I was wrong as much as right
I spent some time in the army
A couple decades in collage
Closed a lot of bars
Before during and after
Searched for somethings that probably did not exist
Started to see some color
Perspective
And am still wrong about half the time
So I would take what I say with a grain of salt

Don't Scare The Dogs

I was playing my brothers guitar
He told me to write a song about Jeff Tweedy
Two chords
Dealers choice

I met Jeff Tweedy in a bar
He was singing I was drinking
He called me an asshole
I said yes sir I am
And I hate Wilco
But I used to love Uncle tupelo
I hate Wilco
I used to love Uncle Tupelo
I hate Wilco
But I kinda like Son Volt

Truth be told I think Wilco is a fine band.

Mac Turner sat in a folding chair drinking a can of coke, eating a bag of potato chips, staring at blank glass. When Detective Williams returned to the room he asked for a cigarette.
"No smoking."
"How long will this take?"
"As long as it does. So you were a Ranger?"
"Yeah."
"You suffer from that PSTD?"
"PTSD. No I do not" Mac laughed.
"What's funny?"
Mac stopped laughing. "Come to think of it nothing."
"I should kick Your ass."
"I'm sitting right here."

About a month before he mustered out of the Army Mac went to a bar in Columbus with his buddy Wade Brown. Wade was trying to convince him to re up.
Mac and Wade had been friends since basic training. Wade told him there's a war coming around the bend. "I can feel it."
Mac grinned. "You might be right and I don't care."
"I call bull shit."
Mac laughed.
"Grenada was the most fun we ever had."
"It was embarrassing."
Wade laughed. "You have a point. But there's another one coming trust me."
"Bla bla bla."
"What the hell else you gonna do?"
"Go to collage."
"That's funny."
"I know."

A couple months before Mac flipped his life upside down he met a girl on the fourth of July at Lake Eufaula.
She was sitting alone on the grass watching the fireworks. He sat down beside her and asked if she wanted a beer. "OK," she said.
He handed her a can. "What's a pretty girl like you doing sitting here by yourself?"
She laughed. "My friend ditched me for a guy. They're over there," she said and pointed at a cluster of trees. "Or they were."
"Where are you from?" Mac asked, lit a cigarette and opened a can of beer.
She opened her can, took a sip and pointed across the Lake. "Right there, you can almost see it. Can I have one?"
He handed her a cigarette and lit it.
"You're in the Army?"
He nodded. "Yeah I am."
"How do you like it?"
He chuckled.
"I like Army guys."
"Why's that?"
"I don't know. You have a job and it's kind of important. I don't know. I just do. That was a good one," she said and pointed at the sky.
"Yeah it was," Mac said. They smoked, drank and looked up.
"I love the fourth of July," she said.
"Patriotic?"
"Not really. It's summer and the fireworks here are so great and everyone sits beside the lake."
Mac laid down. She did as well. They watched the climax. "That was awesome," she said.
"It was pretty neat."
"Pretty neat," she said and laughed.
"Do you work?"
"Sometimes."
Wade walked up."We're taking off," he said.
"I'll give you a ride," she said.
Wade smiled. "You're a lucky dog," he said.
"Damn right he is," she said.

When Mac reflected on that night he always thought it was the best time he ever had.
"If you don't give up your accomplices this is going to go down hill real fast," Detective Robinson said."
"Where's your friend?" Mac asked.
"He's not my friend. He's my partner."
"That makes me like you a little better. Is this good cop bad cop bullshit?"
"It's if you give up your partners we can make a deal."
"No deal."
"You are looking at serious jail time."
"I know."
"How come you haven't asked for a a lawyer?"
"What good would a lawyer do me?"
"Not much."
"I'm not telling you anything."
"That's not smart."
"So be it."

They walked about a third of the way around the lake to her parents house. It was a semi mansion surrounded by trees on a substantial lot. There were three cars in the driveway. "Wait here," she said. I have to change and get my keys. Stand over there behind those trees."
"Wait one second. I want to get one last look at you in that bikini," Mac said.
She laughed and posed suggestively for a moment before going in the house. That will do, Mac thought.
She returned. "Do you want to drive?" she asked.
"Up to you." She tossed him the keys. They stopped at a liquor store and bought a bottle of whiskey and a six pack of beer and Coke. She directed him to a motel about half way from where they were and where he had to be in the morning. He wasnt sure how he would get there or if he even cared if he did or whether it really mattered."They have patios and a killer view," she said.
"Sounds great."
"Do you have money?"
"I have enough."
"Get us a room."
The room wasn't fancy but it was nice. She opened the back door. "Come out here," she said. He obliged. She kissed him. "What do you think?" she asked.
"It's nice," he said.
"Why don't you get some ice and I'll make us drinks."
They sat on the patio and smoked and drank for about an hour. "Let's go to bed," she said. "The night's getting away from us."
They made love. Mac fixed them each a drink. He turned on the television and laid beside her. "What's your name?" she asked.
"Mac."
"I'm Mary."
Mac laughed. "I hadn't realized we didn't know each others name."
Mary smiled. "Now we do. Nice to meet you Mac," she said and laughed.
Mac continued laughing. "Yeah it was great."

Mac yelled, "I'll cover you," and threw off a few series of three round bursts. Wade was fifty yards closer to the car Mary was waiting in.
"Fuck that. You come to me. I'll cover you," Wade yelled and aimed his rifle and started firing rounds over the heads of entrenched officers. Pivoted and repeated.
"I won't make it. Get her out of here," Mac yelled and methodically opened a door for Wade to wiggle through. Wade hesitated for a second before realizing that Mac was right and ran toward the car. When Mac saw the car leaving he kept up the cover fire until it did the car no further good. He put the rifle down and waited for cops to offer him a chance to surrender. When they did he accepted their conditions and trusted Wade to get Mary out of trouble. He knew if he was in Wades position he could do it and that Wade was his equal in situations like the one he was presently in.
Mac woke in his cell from a dream that was also reality and thought about Wade and Mary pulling over and deciding what to do next. They knew he wouldn't rat them out however only a fool would count on that they also must have realized the game was up. They concluded leaving the city was their best option according to the letters Mary sent him after he was sentenced and incarnated. She told him they cashed out and drove to Wades parents house in Michigan and hung out their until she became bored and flew to Phoenix to visit her sister and wait. She said she hasn't seen Wade since he took her to the airport. She contacted a lawyer who put her in touch with a money man who concocted a way for her to buy a house outside of Phoenix. She applied for a part time job at a Jewelry store and worked two days a week and started to wait for him to get out of jail. We can take up where we left off she wrote. Behave yourself so you can get out early, she added. It seemed kind of far fetched to Mac however it also gave him something to look forward too. They would have enough money to do as they pleased as long as they didn't think to big.

"I have one more question," Sargent Robinson said.
"I'll answer if I can," Mac said.
"Why did you aim over their heads?"
"It wasn't their fault I ended up on that street up shit creek."
"Well I thank you for that."
Mac chuckled. "You're welcome. It would have made it worse for everyone involved."

On the way to Michigan Wade stopped at a bar in Ohio or Indiana or Wisconsin and Mary and Wade were drunk and stumbled across the parking lot to a motel and Mary tried to give Wade a kiss. He rebuffed her and they slept on separate beds and woke up and continued their journey. "Why didn't you kiss me back," she asked. He didn't answer. "I know you wanted too. It wouldn't have meant anything out side the hear and the now at the time."
"I'm not going to Fuck my best friends girl after he sacrificed himself so we could get away."
"That's nobel. But you wanted too right."
"Of coarse I did."
"You should have as I said it wouldn't have meant anything."
Wade laughed. "In the here and the now at the time."
"The reason it wouldnt mean anythig is I love Mac."
"That's another reason not to have done it. Is there any beer left?"
She handed him a can. "Or a reason to have."

Mary sat in her house and wondered why she offered herself to Wade. It wasn't physical. She thought he was kind of attractive and a OK guy but that wasn't reason enough at the time. I was probably scared, she thought and poured a glass of wine. She had a few sort of boyfriends since she arrived in Phoenix but anytime she or the guy started getting serious she sabatoged the relationship. She needed a man sometimes and sometimes she didn't but in her own way remained loyal to Mac. Mac was the only guy she ever truly wanted or needed and somehow she knew that the moment he asked her if she wanted a beer.

Mac was shooting hoops. Washington walked up picked up the ball under the basket and tossed it to Mac. "You think you're Lary Bird?" Washington asked.
Mac laughed.
"So you were a Ranger?" Washington said.
Mac passed Washington the ball. Washington threw it back, Mac hit a high arching shot from the top of the key.
"Not bad for a white boy," Washington said.
"What do you want?" Mac said, received a pass and sunk another.
"I have a problem you might be able to help me with"
"I'm not interested."
"How you know that?"
Mac chuckled. "I'll take my chances," he said and walked to a bench and sat down. Washington followed him.
"So make your pitch."
Washington took a seat and told him about a snitch that arrived a couple days prior that he needed takin care of and that he had an endless supply of weed and that he would be able to arrange a monthly vist of a girl that he knew and he could also get him a room to spend a couple hours alone with her.
Mac laughed.
"So what say you brother?" Washington asked.
"I'm not your brother."
Washington grinned. "So you ain't."
"Give me the specs."
"The specs standin' there by the fence talkin' to the midget."
"Big kid."
"That a problem."
"Not really."
"Didn't think so. Besides he's a pussy."
Mac laughed. "Why don't you do it then?"
Washington smiled. "Cause I'm the head nigger in charge."
"You better fuckin' be."

Diane Lacy sat in a room and waited. She lit a cigarette and opened a magazine. A guard opened a door and a man walked into the room. He sat across from her and offered his hand to shake. "Mac," he said. She took his hand and said, "I'm Diane."
"How do you know Washington?" Mac asked.
"He's my cousin."
Diane stood, walked across the room, stopped beside a bed, dropped her cigarette on the floor and took off her blouse. "How do you know him?"
Mac lit a cigarette. Diane finished undressing and turned around. She completed a circle. "Do you like what you see?"
"I didn't think this through," Mac said.
Diane laid on the bed. "Didn't think what through?"
Mac stood, picked up a chair, walked across the room and sat beside the bed. "Are you a hooker?"
Diane laughed. "Why should I answer your questions when you don't answer mine?"
"I don't really know him. To be honest he used me. And I do like what I see."
Diane smiled. "It's not hard. I wasn't a hooker until five minutes ago." She giggled. "It's not so bad."
"Why are you doing it?"
"That's a good question. I wasn't asked. I was told, but I need the money anyway. And Richard told me your cool." Diane smiled. "So are you?"
Mac laughed. "So cool I'm ice cold."
"Why don't you let me thaw you out."

Mary was bored and lonely. She was sitting in a bar getting hit on by a cute but idiotic guy who bought her enough drinks to get drunk but she cut him off before she dropped her standards. But only just barley, she thought, walked outside, got in her car and saw a pay phone. She called Wade. "What are you doing?"
"Nothing. What do you want?"
"I want you to vist me. Or let me vist you."
"Why?"
"I don't know. Why are you such an asshole."
"I'll see you tomarrow."
"Really?"
"Why not."

Wade called Mary from the airport and asked for her address. She told him she would pick him up . He told her, he rented a car. She gave him her address but told him to meet her at a bar. The bar was on the corner of the street he would take a left on to get to her house anyway, she said. Wade drove around Phoenix for awhile to become aquanted with the city. The only thing he liked about travaling is seeing the places he travaled to and he always spent time looking for the character of it. He liked doing that alone. If you are with someone you get distracted. He took the freeway to the end of the city and about ten miles beyond. He stopped at a bar, had a beer and listened to a couple of fake cowboys talk about how fucked up the country is. He paid his bill and said, "if it's so bad why don't you do something about it."
"What?" One of the fake cowboys said.
"If it's so bad why don't you do something about it."
"Why don't you shut the fuck up and go back where you came from." The other fake cowboy said.
"I just might," Wade said, left a five dollar bill under his empty bottle, walked outside and stared at a mountain that looked kind of like an Indians face.
"Hey asshole."
Wade turned around and grinned.
"You think you can just waltz in here insult us and go on your merry way."
"Yeah, I thought I could."
"Well you can't."
The fake cowboy took a swing, Wade ducked, kneed him in the balls and brought his elbow up into his nose. The fake cowboy fell hard on the pavement. His friend threw a wild punch Wade avoided and he repeated almost exactly what he'd done about five seconds before. "You rednecks had enough?" I shouldn't have done this. Although it's no skin off my teeth. Why am I in such a bad mood. I know why I'm in such a bad mood, Wade thought.

"What took you so long?" Mary said, ran up to Wade and gave him a kiss.
"I got lost."
"On purpose."
Wade kissed her again. I ain't going to fight it anymore, he thought.
"I'm already drunk."
"That's OK."
"Where did you get lost?"
"A place called New River."
"That place sucks."
"You been there?"
"Once. A friend of mine grew up there and I tagged along with her to a party. How did you end up there?"
"I'm was checking out the lay of the land. That's where the car took me."
"The car took you?"
"Yeah."
"Let's get out of here. I have everything at my house we need."
"Everything?"
"Everthing."

Three Hundred Years

If I proceed at my present pace
In a hundred years I will be able to compose a song as complex, world weary and poetic as Tangled Up In Blue.
If human beings are still able to read in two hundred years I will write a novel that will not be embarrassed by The Sun Also Rises
And in three hundred years Shakespeare better keep the eyes in the back of his head wide open.
It's a good thing I have taken excellent care of myself.